Checking In With My Reading Goals

We've crossed the halfway point of 2017, which means it's time for me to take a look at my reading goals and do a little accounting and also a little planning for the rest of the year. In a nutshell, I've read ten goal-related books so far; I have three more that are in progress; and I still have six I need to crack the cover on. So just the numbers are looking good, but the specifics are leaving me a little worried. Take a look:

1. Read two books about childbirth (complete)
I knocked this one out early since Ian was born in April. I chose two very different childbirth books, but I loved both of them immensely (and gave each a five-star rating). If expectant moms asked me for book recommendations, I'd recommend these two before any of the other ones I've read, especially if they're wanting a natural birth (but, as you know, this time I went with an epidural, and I still loved reading all the birth stories, but maybe that's because, at heart, I think I'm still a natural birth kind of gal). Anyway, the two books were: Baby Catcher by Peggy Vincent and The Gift of Giving Life by Felice Austin.

2. Read three books with Maxwell and three books with Aaron (partially complete)
In the preceding six months, this goal has been slightly modified to include Bradley. At first, Maxwell was not at all interested in reading some of the same books as me (he has since graciously changed his mind), but Bradley was. The whole point of the goal was to motivate myself to read some of the same books as my kids so I could be more involved with their reading, so I feel like my heart is in the right place even if it's not a strict three and three between Aaron and Maxwell. And just to clarify, these are not readalouds but rather books that we're reading separately but during the same span of time. So far I've read The Mysterious Benedict Society with Aaron, Who Could That Be at This Hour with Aaron, Cal and the Amazing Anti-Gravity Machine with Bradley, Muggie Maggie with Bradley, and Zita the Spacegirl with Aaron, Max, and Bradley. So as far as numbers go, I really only need to read one more book to complete this goal (and Max has agreed to have us both read Abel's Island by William Steig), but I'm pretty sure I'll read beyond the required number with this one.

3. Read Rose in Bloom by Louise May Alcott and The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery (partially complete)
As I write this, I'm about halfway through the audio of Rose in Bloom. However, as I've mentioned before, I'm getting through far fewer audio books than I once did, so I've actually been listening to it for awhile, but I'm just making really slow progress. But we'll get there. I'm so excited to start The Blue Castle. I've been looking forward to this book for years but just haven't made the time for it. Until now.

4. Read a book about slow, conscientious living (not complete)
I've held off on this book on purpose because I think it will be most beneficial in November, just as we enter the cold, dark days of winter (shudder). Not that I don't think a simple lifestyle is appropriate in the summer. It is. But it just feels so much more necessary in the winter, like it might be the very key to my survival. I'm leaning strongly towards The Year of Living Danishly, but I would love any recommendations you think would fit the bill.

5. Start a new mystery series and read another mystery by Agatha Christie (not complete)
I love reading mysteries in the fall, so I've been saving this goal as well. But I have no idea what I want to read! So start sending in those suggestions! The two Agatha Christies I've read so far are Murder on the Orient Express and And Then There Were None. I enjoyed both, so what would be a good one to read next? And as far as a series, I don't want anything too intense--think more along the lines of cozy mystery.

6. Read Home Comforts by Cheryl Mendelson throughout the year (partially complete)
This goal. Oh, this goal. It's going to be the death of me. I feel like I've read so much already, but my kindle says it's only 10% complete. I've been tempted to abandon it, but I feel like I haven't even come to the parts I was truly interested in, so I'm going to set some serious weekly goals to help myself knock out a big chunk of it. So far though, I think it's been rather disappointing. It seems rather ridiculous and unrelatable, so in the long run, it might not be worth investing fifty more hours of precious reading time. For now, I'll keep chipping away at it, and I hope I'll give myself permission to stop if it doesn't improve after another 20%.

7. Read a parenting book (not complete)
I just borrowed my mom's copy of The Collapse of Parenting by Leonard Sax, so I should be starting this goal anytime now. I've been meaning to read this book for over a year, so I'm excited to finally make some time for it.

8. Read two Young Adult novels (complete)
I've read two, and neither of them satisfied, so I'm still on the hunt. They were The Distance Between Us by Kasie West and Ten Miles Past Normal by Frances O'Roark Dowell. Honestly, they weren't bad (and they were clean, which was one of my major stipulations), but give me another three months and I know I'll have forgotten pretty much everything about them. You all have done a great job with the recommendations though, so I'm excited to check some of them out and continue my search.

9. Read the 2017 Newbery winner (complete)
This was a fun goal to make because, at the time, I didn't know which book was going to win. It ended up being The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill, and it was fantastic. I've now discussed it with Suzanne in Episode 13 of The Book Blab, as well as my book club, and I'm convinced it was completely worthy of the Newbery.

10. Read Glimpses Into the Life of Marjorie Pay Hinckley (partially complete)
This book has been an absolute joy to read. I'm probably about three quarters of the way through and am already making plans to reread parts of it. I don't think my natural disposition is the same as Sister Hinckley's, which is terribly unfortunate and something I plan to write more about in the future, but I am incredibly inspired nonetheless. I'm glad the first half of 2017 has been filled with the wit and wisdom of this amazing lady.

I'm planning to do two more progress reports soon (a look at my 2017 plan and a list of the books I've read so far) because if there's one thing about me, it's that when I make a goal, I hold myself accountable.

How are your goals shaping up so far?

A Little of This and That in June

Summer is at its height, and we've been living it up (and by "living it up," I mean, "slightly changing our normal routine"). So far, we've been . . . 

Walking . . . to the library. We live relatively close to our library, but because of the way the streets in our neighborhood are arranged, there isn't a direct route there. On top of that, one of those streets is quite busy and has been under construction for a year, so we've opted to drive. But Bradley is always begging to walk and decided to make that one of his summer goals. So at the beginning of June, we did just that, and I'm so glad we did. It wasn't suffocatingly hot yet, and with all of the road construction finally done, it was actually quite pleasant. We'll have to do it more often (after it cools down again).

Eating . . . doughnuts. The first Friday of June is National Doughnut Day, and it's one of those random, ridiculous holidays that we happen to take quite seriously. We mark it on the calendar, and we splurge on our favorite doughnuts (Banbury Cross). Yum.

Acquiring . . . some new swimming skills. I signed up the boys for one session of swimming lessons at the beginning of the summer, and they all improved immensely. There was only one day when Clark refused to get in (ironically, on the second to last day), and other than that, he did everything the teacher asked. Aaron and Max learned the butterfly, and Bradley can swim the length of the pool using side breaths.

Drinking . . . hot chocolate. Early in the month, we had a couple of days where the temperature dropped, and it was windy and rainy. Of course, those two days happened to be right in the middle of swimming lessons, but they just cranked up the heat in the pool, and the kids actually loved it. However, getting out of the water was less pleasant, and the only way I convinced them to do it was by promising them hot chocolate when we got home. 

Hanging . . . out poolside. We go to the pool several times a week, and Ian and I spend most of it like this. Luckily, he's a pretty chill baby, and I don't mind an excuse to hold him (except when it's 101-degrees).

Listening . . . to this episode on the Sorta Awesome podcast. With Aaron going into fourth grade this year, I know the time is fast approaching when we'll need to be having these real conversations with him. But in the meantime, I'm gearing up and preparing. 

Gaining . . . weight. Ian has been packing on the pounds like it's his job (which, I guess, it is). At his two month appointment, he was 14 lbs. 5 oz., which put him right in the 97th percentile. I can't say I was surprised since I do have eyes, but I was disappointed nonetheless. I was so hoping he'd let me enjoy his babyhood a bit longer.

Rushing . . . to finish knitting a blanket for Ian's blessing at the beginning of July. I did it, with just a couple days to spare, and I love the way it turned out (pictured above). It was super fun to knit, too.

Celebrating . . . Father's Day. Because this guy is worth celebrating, and not just on Father's Day either. (And sadly, both of our dads weren't here for the day, so we had to celebrate them with a phone call instead of in person.)

Painting . . . the kitchen. When we moved into our house, the kitchen was a bright, vibrant green. It was kind of a perky color, so we kept it. But recently, it was looking more putrid than cheerful, so we decided to change it. I'm in love with the cool light blue we chose, and it matches the silver light fixture and hardware so much better than the green ever did. It's amazing what a simple change in paint color can do to breathe new life into a room.

Seeing . . . old friends. When we were first married, Curtis and Alicia were among our very best friends. We spent many a weekend with them, playing games late into the night. Now they live in Arizona, but it's amazing how anytime we get together, it is seriously like no time has passed (except, of course, for the fact that we now have TEN kids between the two families). We're so glad they made time for a quick visit with us. It was much too short.

Training . . . Clark to use the toilet. When I took Clark to his three-year checkup, our pediatrician encouraged us to get serious about toilet training. It's not that I hadn't thought about it or attempted to do it. It's just that Clark wasn't responding to training like my older boys had, so I was at a bit of a loss. So imagine my delight when our pediatrician said, "You know, if there's any way your husband could do the training, that would be best." I listened intently to his cold-turkey, fool-proof, one-day method, and then went home and gleefully said to Mike, "Guess what you get to do this weekend?" With my other boys, we've done a gradual transition to underwear, but Dr. V. recommended making a total commitment to underwear from the start. So it's a good thing Mike was in charge because cleaning up a bunch of accidents (and at first, there were quite a few) usually makes my head feel like it's going to explode. On the second day, Clark seemed to be testing his boundaries, and Mike was getting a little fed up with it, and we had a serious chat about whether or not we were in this for the long haul or if we were going to let it rest for another couple of weeks. We decided we were all in, and I think Clark sensed it, too, because that was a turning point for him and within the week, he was trained. (And that's probably more than you wanted to know about the process, but it was one of the best things about June so I had to share!)

Launching . . . rockets. I remind my kids quite often that they have a pretty awesome dad. Case in point: he made them a rocket launcher out of PVC pipe that shoots paper rockets hundreds of feet into the sky. I love it because it keeps them busy for hours, first making the rockets, and then, shooting them off. It's also nice that, because the rockets are made out of paper, they can literally launch them anywhere without the fear of damaging anything. It has gone with us to all of our family reunions and been tested out by all the neighbor kids (and parents), and it is a real crowd pleaser.

 
Working . . . on summer goals. I wrote about them in detail here, but, as always, they've been one of the highlights of the summer.

Seeing . . . more and more smiles from the youngest member of the family. He has even granted us a few laughs, which makes us just want more. Basically, he's everyone's favorite.

Reading . . . and reading and reading. We brought back our summer reading program from last year, and my kids have been reading a ton. Mostly graphic novels and comics, but I've bribed them to squeeze in some other types of books as well.

Playing . . . at the pool with my mom and sisters. They came up for a sleepover and then we went to the pool in the morning. My mom even let Clark squirt her in the face because she's a super nice grandma.

What have been the highlights of your summer so far?

The Book Blab Episode 14: Summer Reading Programs Plus Two Books With Settings We'd Love to Visit

With summer in full swing, I'm sure many of you are participating in summer reading programs. Last summer, I became so disenchanted with my library's summer "reading" program that I created my own for my kids. It was a huge success, and we're doing it again this year. So on this episode of The Book Blab, Suzanne and I discussed how to start your own summer reading program and why external motivation can be a good thing (and I even convinced Maxwell to come chat with us for a bit).

Before we jump into the episode, I'd like you to think about three questions, and answer them in the comments if you feel so inclined:

1. What does your ideal summer reading program look like?
2. What incentives would motivate YOU?
3. What topic would you like Suzanne and I to discuss on a future episode?

And now, on with the show!

0:20 - Suzanne's busy summer
0:57 - Today's topic: summer reading programs
1:42 - Suzanne's experience with summer reading programs
4:10 - Amy's experience with summer reading programs
7:15 - The summer reading program Amy created for her kids
9:47 - Special guest appearance by Amy's 7-year-old, Max

• 10:54 - Max's favorite prize
• 11:53 - Max's thoughts on being rewarded for reading
• 12:48 - The number of hours Max reads every day
• 13:53 - Becoming an adventurous reader
• 14:33 - One of Max's favorite books this summer

15:52 - The good and bad of incentive programs and external motivation
21:30 - What would a summer reading program look like for adults?
24:40 - Tips for tracking time
25:40 - Two books with settings we'd love to visit

• 26:15 - Suzanne's recommendation
• 28:24 - Amy's recommendation

30:25 - Conclusion

Books and links mentioned in the show:

Sunlit Pages: Raising Readers: Summer Reading Program
Sunlit Pages: A Summer Reading Program You Can Do at Home
The Secret Garden by Francis Hodges Burnett (Amy's review)
The Penderwicks at Point Mouette by Jeanne Birdsall (Amy's review)

Jefferson's Sons by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley

I put Jefferson's Sons on my to-read list right after Janssen reviewed it . . . in 2012. But whereas some books get added and gradually lose their appeal, Jefferson's Sons continued to look interesting to me, so I finally made time for it, and it was well worth it.

It is one of the greatest ironies of history that the man who wrote the memorable words, "All men are created equal," also owned slaves. But even more ironic is the fact that some of those slaves were his own biological children.

This book follows two of them, Beverly Hemings and Madison Hemings, as well as a third slave, Peter Fossett. Even though the book is a work of fiction, every character in the story was a real person, and nothing was included that was in direct disagreement with the facts. In other words, it is as historically accurate as possible and every story and conversation could, in theory, have really happened.

Before I started the book, I was really worried that it would make me hate Thomas Jefferson. Or just that it would be so jaded, I would feel forced into a certain opinion. But it did neither of those things.

Beverly and Maddy's mother was Sally Hemings. She was actually half-sisters with Thomas Jefferson's wife, Martha Wayles. While there are many things we don't know about her relationship with Thomas Jefferson, it appears that there wasn't anything between them until after Martha's death in 1782. At least, Sally didn't have her first child until 1790. It also seems likely (or at least this is the way this particular author portrays it) that Thomas Jefferson did in fact love Sally Hemings and was also a victim of the constraints and laws of the times, which wouldn't allow a white man to marry a black woman. He made sure his children were always well provided for (all while never acknowledging that they were actually his) and eventually gave them their freedom when they turned twenty-one.

That said, Thomas Jefferson still owned slaves--a lot of them. And although the house slaves were treated well, the field hands experienced many of the depravities and abuses common to that time. At one point in the story, one of the slaves runs away. When he is eventually caught and brought back, he is whipped, and all of the slaves are forced to watch. Beverly is young at the time and idolizes his father and can't believe he would have ordered the whipping. But Beverly's mother explains, "All James Hubbard did was try to get free. Running away is against the law, but it's not wrong. Sometimes laws are wrong. Master Jefferson told the overseers to whip James Hubbard. They wouldn't have done it otherwise. They wouldn't have dared."

Thomas Jefferson might have been a more humane slave owner than some, but he still treated his slaves as property--something that could be bought or sold just like a horse. In fact, the book ends soon after his death as his slaves are being auctioned off to pay the enormous debts he has incurred due to unwise financial decisions. He took care of his own flesh and blood but left his other slaves to the mercy of those who came after him. One of those slaves is little Peter Fossett, and the ending is quite chilling.

The book is written for a middle grade (8-14 year-old) audience. Although it spans about twenty-five years, it follows Beverly first, then moves onto Maddy, and ends with Peter, thereby keeping the thoughts and feelings and experiences focused on a child while still letting us see what happens to the others as they grow up.

One thing I really appreciated was the way the author nudged the reader into thinking about difficult issues. It wasn't blatant or heavy-handed. I didn't feel like I was being preached to. But many of the conversations that happened in the Heming's cabin made me think. It's impossible to know if they really had such deep discussions on the morality of slavery, but it seems likely. We know that Sally was well-educated, and it's obvious that many of her actions were prompted out of a love for her children and wanting to give them their best possible chance at a decent future. And with their father being who he was, how could they not help but see the deep unfairness of their situation?

But the author was slow to pass judgment. For example, when Sally tells her children about their great-grandma, who was kidnapped in Africa, Beverly asks if the men who took her were white or black. Sally responds, "I don't know. Might have been either, or both. Evil comes in all colors." And I know if we looked at the entire history of the world, we would find that to be the case. One race isn't more evil than another. We all have the capacity to be good or bad.

There is one really tender scene in the book. It's in Maddy's section. Maddy is smart and loves to read. He doesn't blindly love his father the way Beverly does, but he still craves little moments of attention. When Mama tells him that Master Jefferson's mockingbird died, Maddy and his best friend, James, set out to catch another one. They're successful, and they take the bird to Master Jefferson. He is so pleased with the new bird that he gives each boy fifty cents. Maddy should be thrilled with the money, but he's not. Instead he thinks, "That bird had been free, and now it was a slave. From now on it had to live where Master Jefferson wanted it to live, eat what Master Jefferson gave it to eat, even whistle the songs Master Jefferson wanted it to sing. He, Maddy, had sold that bird into slavery."

In my book club, we read a different genre each month. One of those genres is adolescent literature, and we originally chose this book for that month. We ended up changing it because we'd already read a couple of books that explored similar issues, but I'm kind of sad about it because there would have been so much to discuss. I really love books like this that don't paint everything as strictly black and white (even on issues such as slavery that seem obvious) but introduce the many shades of gray that are a result of the culture of the times and the foibles of human nature.

Review x 3: Muggie Maggie, Zita the Spacegirl, and "Who Could That Be at This Hour?"

What do all three of these books have in common? Not a thing, except that they're all books my kids were reading, and then I decided to read them too (and cross a few more books off my reading goals list in the process).

1. Muggie Maggie by Beverly Cleary
Bradley earned this book after completing his first twenty hours in our summer reading program. When he started to read it, I asked him if I could read it too since it was a book of Beverly Cleary's that I'd never read before.

Maggie is in third grade, which means it's time to learn that one thing she's been dreading . . . cursive. She can't see the point of it, and so she refuses to even try. But then one day, her teacher makes her the message monitor, and the messages she's carrying back and forth look so intriguing, especially when she recognizes her own name among the curves and loops of the teachers' handwriting. Unfortunately though, her cursive reading skills are lacking as much as her cursive writing skills, but suddenly she has the right motivation to learn.

When I gave Bradley this book, I hadn't taken into account all of the cursive passages, which, not even being in kindergarten yet, he couldn't read. So he needed either Aaron or I to interpret them for him. However, the fact that he couldn't read them led to the book being even more realistic because he could understand Maggie's frustration at not being able to read them either.

For my part, I was surprised by how short the book was. I hesitate to question anything Beverly Cleary does because I think she's an absolute genius, but honestly, I felt like it could have been turned into a regular length novel quite easily just by expanding what was already there just a little bit, and I would have liked that. There just wasn't enough there to make it very memorable, which is really a shame because it's a fun story.

2. Zita the Spacegirl by Ben Hatke
My kids have been on such a graphic novel kick this summer. I can't seem to keep them in books, but they don't seem to mind rereading a book three, four, or even five times before we take it back to the library. I find myself making rules like, "You have to read another book before you can read that one again." Or, "You can read that book again, but you can't count it towards your reading prize time." But I try not to do that too often because I really don't mind at all if they read graphic novels. I'm so glad I made the goal to try out a graphic novel myself several years ago because I think it gave me an appreciation for the genre that I didn't have before, and that in turn has made me more accepting with my kids' own reading. I'm actually hoping to do a post in the near future about some of their favorite graphic novel series, but I thought I should read some of them first. Hence, Zita the Spacegirl.

Zita didn't start out as a space girl. She and her friend, Joseph, are playing (on earth) when they stumble upon a crater made by a meteoroid. In the crater, they find a kind of device containing a large red button. Not heeding Joseph's advice, Zita pushes the button and watches helplessly as her friend is beamed away from earth. So she does what any good friend worth her salt would do and pushes the button again . . .

Out of all the graphic novels I've read so far, this one was not my favorite. But that has everything to do with the fact that it's science fiction (not my go-to genre) and nothing to do with the actual storytelling and characters (which are quite excellent). I would not hesitate to recommend this, and if it's any indication for how much my kids love these books, when Max saw me writing this review, he tried to steal the book away from me, saying, "I just want to read a few of my favorite parts again." And he's already read it at least four times.

Also, my kids and I loved watching this video about Ben Hatke. He seems like a really cool guy.

3. "Who Could That Be at This Hour?" by Lemony Snicket
It is with some embarrassment that I admit I wanted to read this book solely because I loved the cover and the title of the series (All the Wrong Questions). When I posted about it on Instagram, someone mentioned that it was narrated by the same character as in A Series of Unfortunate Events. Having never read that series myself, I hadn't actually realized this series was a prequel to that one. Oops.

But it must be true because the narrator of this one is indeed Lemony Snicket. In fact, he's more than the narrator; he's the main character. He is nearly thirteen and just about to embark on his first case. Only, things get a little mixed up and he winds up with the most incompetent of chaperones, S. Theodora Markson. They set off on a search for a missing statue, which was apparently stolen and meet a host of interesting characters along the way. But it turns out, Lemony really should have stayed behind and met his associate (not the same person as his chaperone) in a tunnel under the city. But he didn't do that. And now he has to wonder who is behind this complicated mystery and if things are going exactly according to that person's sinister plan?

I gave this book to Aaron for his birthday (again, because I loved the cover), and so when he started to read it, I picked it up, too. We both enjoyed it, but me probably a little more than him but a little bit less than I thought I was going to. Does that make sense? I think I would have liked it more if I'd read at least the first book in A Series of Unfortunate Events first. Even though this book technically comes before, I think there were little details that would have been more meaningful (and maybe less confusing) with that groundwork. But I don't know. Someone who has read both should let me know.

While I like a good mystery, I felt like I was floundering a little with this one and couldn't exactly grasp what was going on or even what the characters were supposed to be figuring out. But the writing itself made up for my confusion because it was just so entertaining and witty. And I think that's why Aaron didn't enjoy it as much as I did--he spent half the book feeling confused as well, but he doesn't care about the writing enough to appreciate the little inside jokes and jabs.

Something else I didn't realize when I started it is by reading the first one, you're basically committing to read all four books in the series, and I just don't know if I have it in me. Maybe. But I realize the clock is ticking, and if I don't read the second one sometime in the next three months, I'd have to reread this one first because my memory is that bad.

Anyway, I guess the takeaway from all of this is that if you've read and enjoyed A Series of Unfortunate Events, you'll probably like this one. But if you haven't read it (or didn't enjoy it), I'd probably hold off on All the Wrong Questions.

Thoughts on any of these books? Please share!

Summer Goals for Kids: 2017 Edition

We're a month into summer, which means our summer goals are well underway. Everyone has a different way of achieving the balance between structure and flexibility during the summer months, and the way I do it is with summer goals. This is our fourth summer setting goals, and I relish this time to teach and mentor my kids and encourage them to stretch themselves in new ways.

I first wrote about our summer goals in this post in 2014. Although the goals have changed each year, the process has stayed very much the same. I'll do a brief recap here, but I'd invite you to go back to that post if you want more information.

As the end of the school year approached, we sat down as a family and decided what things we wanted to work on over the summer (don't worry, I came with a pre-made list of ideas to try to sell to them). We like to set a variety of goals that fit into three overarching categories: educational, practical, and fun. If reasonable progress is achieved, we reward ourselves with a fun activity or treat at the end of each month (past rewards have included miniature golfing, snow cones, an IMAX show, a camping trip, etc.).

I thought I'd share the goals for each child and any specific thoughts on how they're going now that we've been working on them for a month. Some of the goals overlap between kids, while some are specific to them individually. I should also mention that we measure progress on these goals in a variety of ways; some of them are a "do it once, check it off" type of goal; others are more of the slow and steady variety. For example, I've learned from past years that setting a goal like, "Complete 4th grade math book" is just too much for only three months of summer, so now we might still have a 4th grade math book goal, but it is more about weekly progress instead of cramming to finish the whole thing.  (Goals from past summers: 2014 - 2015 - 2016)

Aaron, age 8 (almost 9)

• Practical
• Clean bathroom (this includes cleaning the counters and sink, the mirror, the toilet, the floor, etc.)
• Sort, wash, fold, hang, dry laundry (this, along with cleaning the bathroom, make up his daily chores)
• Chop fruits and vegetables
• Improve backstroke
• Educational
• Memorize six paragraphs of The Living Christ (this is a family goal, and, sadly, we're already behind on it)
• Finish Piano Adventures Level 3A
• Work on Khan Academy (this is a math curriculum on the computer that both teaches and tests, and I like it because it sees what they know and then goes from there)
• Coding (this was Mike's goal for them, and I believe he's using Scratch to help teach them)
• Work on creative writing (I'm using this book for him, and I like it so far)
• Learn U.S. capitols
•  Fun
• Learn three magic tricks (he'll use this book for ideas) 
• Hike Mt. Wire and Mt. Grandeur
• Complete four projects from Awesome Lego Creations (he got this book for Christmas, but I noticed that he never made anything out of it, and I thought he would like it if he actually gave it a try)
• Take stuff apart with Dad (when Mike was a kid, he loved to buy things at the thrift store and then take them apart to figure out how they worked; this is Mike's way of reliving his childhood while passing along some skills at the same time)

Maxwell, age 7

• Practical
• Wash dishes/utensils (a daily chore--he washes the breakfast dishes, and I think our immune systems are all being bolstered in the process)
• Learn to tie shoes (this is the third year this has been one of his goals--hopefully he'll master it this time)
• Weed garden and flower beds (another daily chore)
• Improve side breaths
• Follow a recipe (my favorite food blogger, Mel, is doing a Cooking with Kids video once a week(ish), and we've been following along with that)
• Educational
• Memorize six paragraphs of The Living Christ 
• Memorize multiplication tables
• Finish Piano Adventures Level 1
• Work on creative writing (I'm using this book for him) 
• Coding
• Learn 50 states
• Fun
• Learn three magic tricks (using the same book as Aaron) 
• Do three science projects from Zap! Science (we've had this book for a couple of years and never done anything with it, so hopefully this will provide some motivation)
• Hike Mt. Wire and Mt. Grandeur
• Take stuff apart with Dad

Bradley, age 5.5

• Practical
• Make sandwiches/lunches (it took a little effort to teach him, but now he does it pretty much on his own, and it's so nice to be able to grab the lunchboxes when we go to the pool)
• Learn to tie shoes (we'll see if we have better luck with him . . . )
• Improve freestyle/side breaths
• Wipe down kitchen table and sweep (one of his daily chores)
• Educational
• Memorize six paragraphs of The Living Christ
• Work on 1st grade workbook (he doesn't have to finish the whole thing, but he's supposed to do a few pages in it every week)
• Write in journal (he tells me what he wants to say, I write it down, and then he copies it into his journal)
• Learn 50 states
• Fun
• Hike Mt. Grandeur and Mt. Wire
• Complete three projects from Awesome Lego Creations (Aaron and Bradley are currently sorting all the Legos by color to facilitate this goal. Related: we have way too many Legos)
• Walk to the library (we live very close to the library, but we rarely walk, and he always asks to do it, so this was his own idea for a goal)
• Walk to Sonja's house (Sonja is his aunt who lives a five-minute drive away--he's never walked there before, and I think he wants to see how long it would take)
• Take stuff apart with Dad

Clark, age 3 (this is Clark's first year of summer goals)

• Practical
• Make bed
• Pick up toys
• Learn to use the toilet 
• Educational 
• Learn the letters of the alphabet (all of my other kids knew their letters by this age, and Clark has about zero interest in it) 
• Learn shapes
• Learn how to write name
• Fun
• Put together a 24-piece puzzle

And that's it! As for my summer goals, well, just helping four kids complete their summer goals feels like a big enough goal to me. :-)

How do YOU achieve the balance between structure and flexibility during the summer months?

Three Recent Book Club Reads: Hillbilly Elegy, Between the World and Me, A House in the Sky

I belong to a fabulous book club of smart, insightful women. Each month it is seriously a treat to gather together and hash out our thoughts and opinions about a particular book and ask ourselves deep (or, as the case may be, shallow) questions about life and all its complexities.

Most of the time, I write a book review to help myself sort out my feelings and process my thoughts after I've finished a book. But in the case of these books, I've already had a chance to do all that with my fellow bibliophiles. However, I never feel like I can quite let go of a book until I've written down a few thoughts (no matter how brief).

1. Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J.D. Vance

J.D. Vance says this book is about "what goes on in the lives of real people when the industrial economy goes south. It's about reacting to bad circumstances in the worst way possible. It's about a culture that increasingly encourages social decay instead of counteracting it."

This is the culture that Vance grew up in in Ohio and Kentucky in the 1980's and 90's. His home was poor and dysfunctional, and Vance bounced between his mother (and her many boyfriends/husbands), his father, and his grandparents. Rather than following almost all of his peers, Vance was able to break the cycle (which he credits his grandparents, particularly his grandmother, for). He joined the Marines and later graduated from Yale Law School. This is his intimate look at the spiraling society many white working class Americans live in, what is causing it, and how they can get out of it.

Vance's maternal grandmother ("Mamaw") has quite the fiery temper and the tongue to go along with it. When Vance's mother was a child, her parents had epic fights where it's a wonder neither one of them was killed. One time Mamaw told Papaw that he'd better never come home drunk again or she'd kill him. It only took one week before he'd forgotten the threat and was passed out on the couch. Mamaw, ever true to her word, poured gasoline all over her sleeping husband and lit him on fire. Luckily one of their daughters was nearby (can you imagine being a witness to this at eleven years old?) and quickly put out the fire and saved her dad.

That's just one example of the kind of home Vance grew up in, and even though his grandparents had calmed down considerably by the time he was a kid (they decided it would be safer for all parties involved if they didn't live together), his mother followed in their disastrous footsteps.

This book received a lot of attention last year as people tried to make sense of the presidential election and figure out why Donald Trump was doing so well. Vance didn't write it as a social commentary on this large percentage of voters; it was just a timely coincidence. For my part though, while I found it to be a fascinating look at a slice of American culture, I didn't think it did much to answer the election question.

Content warning: violence, abuse, and hefty use of the F-word

2. Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

I have to admit, this was not a fun book to read, and I feel very uncomfortable even attempting to rate or review it as I'm afraid my words will be misunderstood. It's written as a letter from Ta-Nehisi Coates to his son about the racial prejudices that have shaped America over the last several hundred years but specifically about how those prejudices still influence American culture today. The tone of the book is bitter, accusing, and judgmental, and as a middle class white woman, it made me feel uncomfortable and defensive.

So instead of saying much about it, I'll just share a few quotes that hopefully represent the nature of the book as a whole:

"Here is what I would like you to know: In America, it is traditional to destroy the black body. It is heritage."

"This is why your grandparents banned Tarzan and the Lone Ranger and toys with white faces from the house. They were rebelling against the history books that spoke of black people only as sentimental firsts: first black five-star general, first black congressman, first black mayor--always presented in the bemused manner of a category of Trivial Pursuit. Serious history was the west and the west was white."

Black parents to children: "Be twice as good."
White parents to children: "Take twice as much."

"And I saw that what divided me from the world was not anything intrinsic to us but the actual injury done by people intent on naming us, intent on believing that what they have named us matters more than anything we could ever actually do. In America, the injury is not in being born with darker skin or fuller lips or a broader nose, but in everything that happens after."

I felt defensive because he made these sweeping, blanket statements about white Americans that didn't describe the way I look at or treat people at all, and yet, I felt guilty because he was speaking the hard truth about our culture in general, and the truth hurt. I have to believe that there are many black people out there who don't feel as embittered as he does, but it doesn't change the fact that we still have a long way to go in treating all humans fairly and with kindness.

And I had to wonder what he would have thought of twelve middle-class white women sitting in a comfortable, average home in Utah, dressed nicely and eating refreshments, and discussing his book. I have a feeling he might not have appreciated it.

3. A House in the Sky by Amanda Lindhout and Sara Corbett

I read this one right after Ian was born. It's a hard, dark story, and even though I found myself with plenty of time to read, I had to alternate between this and a couple of other books simply because it was almost too much to handle in large doses.

In 2009, Amanda Lindhout was traveling in Somalia when she and her friend, Nigel, were abducted by a group of masked and armed men. (The details as to why she was in Somalia in the first place are too many to go into here, but just know she was well aware of the danger she was putting herself in when she first stepped off the plane.) For the next 460 days (15 months), she and Nigel were held captive for a large ransom. The things they experienced spanned the spectrum of sad, disturbing, and absolutely horrific. When I closed the book after the final chapter, the only thing I could think is, The resiliency of the human spirit is amazing (and closely followed by, Could I have endured like she did?).

For most of the time she's in captivity, Amanda feels like she's mere millimeters away from the breaking point, and she's not exactly sure what will happen when that moment comes--will she commit suicide or lash out at her captors or go certifiably crazy? But I found it so interesting that when that moment finally comes (because you better believe that it does), the outcome is empathy and compassion towards those who have tortured her, which you would never ever expect. Amanda said,

"What had just passed? I had no idea. Whatever it was, it unsettled me. In the moment, it had felt perfectly rational and even profound, like the lifting of some great curtain, the flash of a hidden truth. But now my mind started to analyze, attempting to hammer what had happened into words and structure, and the thing itself resisted. I couldn't shape it or explain it. I could only live with it, this new feeling, complicated as it was."

When a book has a co-author like this one does, I always wonder how much of the writing is influenced by him or her? In this case, the writing was actually quite gripping (and not just because of the intense nature of the story), and I was especially impressed with the pacing. When you have so many bad things happen, I think it's easy to use up your superlatives pretty quickly, but in this case, I always felt like there was still somewhere for the story to go (even though that tragically meant there were more atrocities to come). Whether it was Amanda Lindhout or Sara Corbett who deserves the credit for the writing, it was nevertheless quite captivating.

Content warning: rape, torture, violence, language. This is not an easy read. 

I don't know that any of these are books I would have chosen to read on my own, but they ended up being quite thought-provoking and made for some really great discussions.

What have been some of your favorite book club reads?