Wow, November went by in a blink. Here's a bit of what we were up to:
Marveling . . . at the season's first snowfall. Clark was very impressed, but also confused. When I told him it was snow, he pointed to his nose. Even now, several weeks later, every time he sees snow, he points to his nose. Silly boy.
Writing . . . a guest post for What Do We Do All Day. I talked all about audiobooks and shared a few tips for how we've encouraged our kids to listen to them. You can read the entire post here.
Loving . . . my early Christmas present--a new vacuum cleaner.
Seriously, I don't think a present has made me this happy in years. I
remember laughing when I read Emily's Quest earlier this year and Emily
refused to marry Andrew because she "felt sure he was the kind of man
who would give his wife a vacuum cleaner for a Christmas present."
Luckily, Mike knows the way to my heart and disregards everyone else's
advice. (It's the Shark Rotator, if anyone's interested.)
Listening . . . to Christmas music on the sly. I like to think that I'm all serious about not listening to Christmas music until after Thanksgiving, but I can't deny that there were many times when I got in the car and flipped to the Christmas radio station, just to see if it was a song I liked.
Blabbing . . . with Suzanne. If you missed our first Blab, you can watch the whole thing here. We'll be chatting again in a few weeks. Let us know if you have any ideas for a future episode.
Hiking . . . with our friends, Brent and Jen. Jen and I have been planning this hike for four months. And yes, by the time we finally went, there was snow on the trail (but not much). It was a great way to spend a cold November morning.
Suffering . . . through sleep training Clark. He turned eighteen months on Saturday, so it was past time. I don't really stress about my kids' sleep, so when Clark woke up once or twice a night, it just wasn't a big deal to me. Until one day, it was. And that night began the training. Overall, it's been very quick and painless.
Participating . . . in the #picbookaday challenge on Instagram. It's been fun to share some of my favorite picture books. Even though today is the last official day of the challenge, I will continue to share many of our current favorites, so follow along!
Freaking . . . out about Clark's ability to climb out of his crib. We tried putting him in the toddler bed and one word: DISASTER. I didn't know what we were going to do until someone made the brilliant suggestion to turn his crib around (since the back is higher than the front). That bought us a few more months of confinement, and I am so relieved.
Going . . . to the movie theater as a family. We never do this, but over the Thanksgiving weekend, we decided to take the boys to see The Good Dinosaur. (We didn't take Clark though. We're not crazy.) It was fantastic.
Meeting . . . our new niece, Sadie. Oh my goodness, holding her made me want another baby so much (but I reminded myself that the first three months don't last forever and then you have a child you are responsible for raising).
Avoiding . . . shopping. I don't love shopping at anytime of time of the year, but come November, I'm ready to just forget it completely for two months. I can't stand the lines or the parking or the crowded aisles or the stress of all the sales. I'm switching entirely to online shopping, thanks.
Spending . . . Thanksgiving with my brother and his family. We were a much smaller group than usual, and it was quite lovely. The food was delicious, and both families kept lots of leftovers.
Polishing . . . off the last of the Thanksgiving pie for breakfast.
Reading . . . fluffy Christmas novels that have absolutely no substance to them. Listening to My Life in France by Julia Child.
Guilting . . . the boys into liking Farmer Boy. Before we started reading this, I may or may not have said, "This is one of my favorite books of all time. You have to like it." Luckily, that's a book that can carry its own weight. They haven't even had to try to like it. It's just so good.
Walking . . . through the new Norman Rockwell exhibit at the BYU Museum
of Art. It was so good. Seeing so much of his art in one place made me
really grateful that he was around to capture some really critical and
important years during America's history. He's kind of the Dickens of
art . . . he really knew how to tell the common but insightful moments
of the everyday.
Decorating . . . for Christmas. There were about thirty minutes where we
thought we'd lost Aaron's and Bradley's boxes of ornaments. I was going
to cry. Thankfully, they were hidden in plain sight (that's what happens
when you take off the lid to the Christmas tub and four sets of grabby
hands try to pull things out--trust me, I gain more sympathy for my own
mom every year I let my kids help with the decorating).
Mailing . . . Christmas cards. I finished addressing and stuffing
them over the weekend, and they're going out today. I address all of them by
hand, which I love because it gives me a chance to travel down memory
lane and remember our dear friends from various periods of our life.
What were you up to this month?
What I Would Do For Fun (if I Couldn't Read)
Nov 27, 2015
When Suzanne and I did our first Blab last week, we stumped ourselves with this question: "When you have time to yourself, what's your favorite thing to do (besides reading)?" We had the most difficult time thinking of anything that wasn't reading, and I eventually went with some incredibly lame answer along the lines of "sit in a quiet room by myself and think" (which isn't entirely inaccurate, but wow, could I sound any more boring?).
In the days since, this question has come back to me again and again, mostly because I keep thinking of other things I love to do besides reading and wondering why I couldn't think of them at the time. (I also think it's funny that one of the things I did think of is actually something I rarely (maybe never?) do by myself: go on a walk. It's not a bad idea; I'd probably enjoy a walk by myself; but the truth is, I almost always go with someone else because I like having someone to talk to.)
So what would I do if I had time to myself and couldn't read? Even though I thought of more things, they're all still pretty boring. Turns out, I'm just a boring person. (It also turns out that many of them are still reading related, even if I'm not sitting down with a physical book. Big surprise right there.)
In the days since, this question has come back to me again and again, mostly because I keep thinking of other things I love to do besides reading and wondering why I couldn't think of them at the time. (I also think it's funny that one of the things I did think of is actually something I rarely (maybe never?) do by myself: go on a walk. It's not a bad idea; I'd probably enjoy a walk by myself; but the truth is, I almost always go with someone else because I like having someone to talk to.)
So what would I do if I had time to myself and couldn't read? Even though I thought of more things, they're all still pretty boring. Turns out, I'm just a boring person. (It also turns out that many of them are still reading related, even if I'm not sitting down with a physical book. Big surprise right there.)
- Knit or crochet (while listening to an audiobook) - I learned how to knit earlier this year, and it has since become a favorite hobby. I'm currently making a vest for one of my boys (probably Bradley, but if it doesn't fit him, hopefully it will still fit someone!). The tactile feeling of the yarn and the rhythmic clicking of the needles make this a very relaxing, almost therapeutic, activity for me (and if I can listen to an audiobook at the same time, it's even better).
- Wander around a bookstore - I can't believe I forgot this one! One of my very favorite things to do is go to a bookstore and write down all the new titles I want to go check out from the library. I love the smell of bookstores (different from a library because all the books are new), and I love being surrounded by shiny, gorgeous books.
- Work on blog posts - If I'm being honest, this is probably how I spend almost all of my available free time. I always have so many ideas bouncing around in my brain, and I love being able to get some of them written down (so that I can use that opened up brain space to think about more posts).
- Clean - I'm not even kidding. I love cleaning my house if my kids are away and won't immediately undo my work (if they're home though, I basically feel the opposite because it seems so pointless). It's energizing to use my hands to bring order to a space. (Also, this is another great activity to do while listening to an audiobook.)
- Fold laundry - see above
- Take a nap - I've probably taken a nap a total of two times this year, but come January, our church schedule is switching back to 9:00am (we've been on the 1:00-4:00 schedule), so you can bet I'm soon going to be taking a nap every Sunday afternoon.
- Reserve books at the library - one of my favorite nighttime activities is to go through book lists and blog posts and award lists and max out my library card with holds (and sometimes Mike's and Aaron's cards, too).
- Go to the library - I often go there to write a blog post or just escape the kids for a half hour after Mike gets home.
- Read blog posts, scroll through instagram, waste time on the computer or my phone - Sometimes this is exactly the kind of break I need because it is almost completely mindless (that's not exactly a compliment, but you know what I mean).
- Write in my journal - this is part of my evening routine, which means that I always spend at least a few minutes writing at the end of the day. It feels so good to gather my thoughts and write.
- Work on a bigger project - this might be organizing some part of the house or sewing or crafting (right now it happens to be addressing Christmas cards). I don't always have something going, but when I do, it's nice to make some progress on it.
- Put together a puzzle - this happens more by accident than anything else. Usually my kids have out a puzzle, and I catch myself putting it together when I have a quiet minute.
- Write letters or thank yous - I like writing to my brother who is currently serving a mission or my grandma or just jotting down a quick card of thanks to a friend or acquaintance.
- Sit by myself in a quiet place and think - there it is. I wasn't lying when I said it before. I love being by myself and doing absolutely nothing.
Little Men by Louisa May Alcott
Nov 25, 2015
I've read Little Women by Louisa May Alcott a couple of times but never delved into any of her other books. One of my goals this year was to read another classic from a female author I already knew I liked, and so I decided to try Little Men.
I don't know quite what I expected, but I had no idea that in this sweet story about Jo March Bhaer and her rambunctious houseful of boys, I would find my parenting bible. I'm not even kidding. This book touched me to the core and inspired me in more ways than I can say. Jo is not so much a kindred spirit to me as a mentor. Our personalities are nothing alike, but her sympathy towards and astute handling of boys are nonetheless attributes that I want to emulate and adopt.
As you might remember from Little Women, the Bhaers were gifted the large estate of Plumfield to turn into a school for boys. When this story opens, the school is comprised of ten boys plus the Bhaer's two sons, Rob and Teddy, plus Jo's niece, Daisy, so thirteen children in all. It's a lively bunch, and it only grows more lively when Nat, a young orphan, joins the group. (As Nat is waiting in the entryway, he sees a boy come crashing down the banister, and I had to laugh when it said that it was "a crash that would have broken any head but one rendered nearly as hard as a cannonball by eleven years of constant bumping." I'm pretty sure my own Clark is well on his way to such a head as that.) Nat is a quiet boy who desires to please his benefactors (although he does have one ill habit of telling lies that must be dealt with), and he settles into the mix fairly easily.
The real drama begins when he invites an acquaintance, Dan, to also come and live at Plumfield. Dan has had a hard life, and it shows in his anger and bitterness. His manners are coarse, he won't follow the rules, and he picks fights with the other boys. Mr. Bhaer is worried that this is one boy they won't be able to help. But Jo sees the goodness in him and won't give up on him.
Some people will read this book and see a quaint story told with old-fashioned language. But in spite of this, I found much of it so relatable and brilliant that I was constantly jotting down ideas and dog-earring pages. For example:
When Dan eventually does indeed return, it is one of the most touching scenes in literature I've ever read. Jo catches him fast asleep behind a little haycock, and when she wakes him, he's still half-asleep and says, "Mother Bhaer, I've come home." She knows then that he's ready to try. I was worried from the outset that Dan's story would not be believable. I had a feeling that he would be reformed, but he was so convincingly rough and mean-spirited that I didn't know if I would be able to believe any sort of transformation or change of temperament.
But here's the thing: When Jo goes in to tell Mr. Bhaer than Dan has come back, she says, "But, dear, you'll be very kind to him, no matter how gruff he seems. I am sure that is the way to conquer him." And with that sentence, I knew it was true. Love can overturn the roughest of souls, and if anyone could show pure love, it was Jo. She went on to say, "He won't bear sternness nor much restraint, but a soft word and infinite patience will lead him as it used to lead me." This said even more than the "love will win him back" statement. Jo somehow inherently knew how much they could push him and when it was time to hold back, and she knew it because she had a bit of that rebellious spirit in her as well. She felt a kinship to Dan, and she was willing to believe in him because of it. I feel like I could read this chapter over and over again and there would still be lessons to glean about how to parent with love and compassion.
I don't know quite what I expected, but I had no idea that in this sweet story about Jo March Bhaer and her rambunctious houseful of boys, I would find my parenting bible. I'm not even kidding. This book touched me to the core and inspired me in more ways than I can say. Jo is not so much a kindred spirit to me as a mentor. Our personalities are nothing alike, but her sympathy towards and astute handling of boys are nonetheless attributes that I want to emulate and adopt.
As you might remember from Little Women, the Bhaers were gifted the large estate of Plumfield to turn into a school for boys. When this story opens, the school is comprised of ten boys plus the Bhaer's two sons, Rob and Teddy, plus Jo's niece, Daisy, so thirteen children in all. It's a lively bunch, and it only grows more lively when Nat, a young orphan, joins the group. (As Nat is waiting in the entryway, he sees a boy come crashing down the banister, and I had to laugh when it said that it was "a crash that would have broken any head but one rendered nearly as hard as a cannonball by eleven years of constant bumping." I'm pretty sure my own Clark is well on his way to such a head as that.) Nat is a quiet boy who desires to please his benefactors (although he does have one ill habit of telling lies that must be dealt with), and he settles into the mix fairly easily.
The real drama begins when he invites an acquaintance, Dan, to also come and live at Plumfield. Dan has had a hard life, and it shows in his anger and bitterness. His manners are coarse, he won't follow the rules, and he picks fights with the other boys. Mr. Bhaer is worried that this is one boy they won't be able to help. But Jo sees the goodness in him and won't give up on him.
Some people will read this book and see a quaint story told with old-fashioned language. But in spite of this, I found much of it so relatable and brilliant that I was constantly jotting down ideas and dog-earring pages. For example:
- Jo has a "Sunday closet" filled with "picture-books, paint-boxes, architectural blocks, little diaries, and materials for letter-writing." She says, "I want my boys to love Sunday, to find it a peaceful, pleasant day, when they can rest from common study and play, yet enjoy quiet pleasures, and learn, in simple ways, lessons more important than any taught in school." Sundays are always tricky days for us around here because our kids get bored and restless, so I really loved Jo's foresight to reserve some enjoyable activities specifically for Sunday--both to make it a more enjoyable day and to teach the boys how to enjoy the blessing of rest.
- Jo keeps a record of each boy throughout the week and then meets with him one-on-one on Sunday to go over that record. She praises him for his good choices and offers some constructive criticism for the mistakes he's made. Each boy knows that she cares about him, his well-being, and his improvement. He knows that she's watching him throughout the week and observing his triumphs and his setbacks. He knows that he can openly talk to her about anything. This is the way to build solid, trusting relationships with each other.
- Jo allows the boys to have a pillow fight every Saturday night. She recognizes a boy's need for wild fun and gives it to him. But then, when it's time for the pillow fight to be over, she expects them to stop and respect her wishes. This is only one example of the natural give-and-take that is a part of Jo's relationship with her boys. She respects them, and they, in turn, respect her.
- Mr. and Mrs. Bhaer value the outdoors and know how important they are to a boy's health and well-being. Lessons are important but only in moderation.
- Jo values the treasures of little boys. At one point, Dan says, "I suppose you threw away my bundle of plunder?" (little shells and stones and birds' eggs he found on his journey). Sadly, if it had been our home, he probably would have been right, but Jo says, "No, I kept it, for I thought they must be treasures of some kind, you took such care of them." She just as this quiet kinship with boys and their interests that I admire very much.
- She's realistic. When they're going through a pleasant, peaceful spell, she thinks, "It is too good to last." She knows that raising boys is an exciting ride and that it's never wise to get too comfortable with the current setup.
When Dan eventually does indeed return, it is one of the most touching scenes in literature I've ever read. Jo catches him fast asleep behind a little haycock, and when she wakes him, he's still half-asleep and says, "Mother Bhaer, I've come home." She knows then that he's ready to try. I was worried from the outset that Dan's story would not be believable. I had a feeling that he would be reformed, but he was so convincingly rough and mean-spirited that I didn't know if I would be able to believe any sort of transformation or change of temperament.
But here's the thing: When Jo goes in to tell Mr. Bhaer than Dan has come back, she says, "But, dear, you'll be very kind to him, no matter how gruff he seems. I am sure that is the way to conquer him." And with that sentence, I knew it was true. Love can overturn the roughest of souls, and if anyone could show pure love, it was Jo. She went on to say, "He won't bear sternness nor much restraint, but a soft word and infinite patience will lead him as it used to lead me." This said even more than the "love will win him back" statement. Jo somehow inherently knew how much they could push him and when it was time to hold back, and she knew it because she had a bit of that rebellious spirit in her as well. She felt a kinship to Dan, and she was willing to believe in him because of it. I feel like I could read this chapter over and over again and there would still be lessons to glean about how to parent with love and compassion.
Summer days are over,
Summer work is done;
Harvests have been gathered
Gayly one by one.
Now the feast is eaten,
Finished is the play;
But one rite remains for
Our Thanksgiving-day.
Best of all the harvest
In the dear God's sight,
Are the happy children
In the home tonight,
And we come to offer
Thanks where thanks are due,
With grateful hearts and voices,
Father, mother, unto you.
The boys gather round Father and Mother Bhaer. They hold them in a gigantic embrace. As I read the final lines, there was an almost tangible feeling of love and goodwill. They know the days ahead will not be perfect (even in the midst of this happiness, Jo was probably reminding herself, "It is too good to last"). There will be more bumps in the road, more Sunday one-on-one sessions where they talk about the notes in the little notebook, more consequences (both pleasant and unpleasant). But each boy knows that Mr. and Mrs. Bhaer's love for them is unfailing. It will always be there--a constant beacon to guide them through the storms of life.
And at the end of the day, that is exactly what I want for my own little men.
And at the end of the day, that is exactly what I want for my own little men.
Honey For a Child's Heart: The Imaginative Use of Books in Family Life by Gladys Hunt
Nov 23, 2015
I first heard about Honey For a Child's Heart many months ago on a Read-Aloud Revival episode. I can never resist a good book list, so a whole book full of good book lists sounded right up my alley. (It was subsequently mentioned on almost every following episode, which further cemented my desire to look it up.)
A couple of months ago, my education group was planning out the next nine months of meetings. We each volunteered for a month to choose a book and host, and this is the book I went with. I was glad to finally have a reason to read this book and discuss it with other book-loving moms.
The book is divided into two sections. The first hundred or so pages make a case for why reading in the home is so wonderful and why every family should make it a priority. Of course, I loved these chapters. Reading with my kids is my very favorite way to spend time with them, and it's always nice to get some outside validation that what I love is actually what is best for them.
Gladys Hunt said, "Good literature teaches more than we know. Example always speaks louder than precept, and books can do more to inspire honor and tenacity of purpose than all the chiding and exhortations in the world."
She also used this section to talk about how to choose good books. Every time I go to the library without a plan (i.e., without twenty books already waiting for me on my hold shelf), I feel so overwhelmed (unless of course I'm by myself with twenty minutes of free time--then I'm happy to aimlessly peruse the shelves). The problem is, when I feel like I'm under a time constraint to find a worthwhile book for Aaron to read, the pressure of sifting through a lot of poor literature in hopes of finding the gold is really daunting.
Gladys Hunt defines a good book as "the quality of the idea, the skill of the plot, the depth of the characterization, [and] the distinctive style of the author." I agree with all those things, and I believe I can often recognize it when I find it. The problem is, finding it.
That's why book lists (from people you know and trust) can be such a gold mine. When other people have done the work for you, it's so easy to just click and reserve, click and reserve, and within ten minutes have a stack of books worth reading. I have many websites and blogs I trust for book recommendations (look at Where to Find a Good Children's Book and Nine Blogs I Visit For Book Recommendations for some of my favorites), but I really loved the second section of this book, which was list after list after list of tried-and-true books for children. (In fact, at one point, I closed this book, looked over at Mike and said, "I can't take it. There are too many good books to read.")
Seriously though, the book lists in this section are awesome (and I should know since, being the nerd that I am, I actually read this entire section cover to cover because it's so much fun to read a book list). I feel like I need to buy this book so that I'll be able to reference it whenever I'm reserving books at the library (a favorite nighttime activity for me).
That said, these aren't perfect lists, and I'll tell you why.
First, she recommends so many books that are currently out of print. I love discovering old classics, but it is really frustrating to hear about a good book and not be able to check it out from the library. I almost never buy books that I haven't already read, and I'm certainly not going to pay rare book prices if it's for a book I don't already know that we love. So I'm torn: I liked finding out about new books, but if I can't read them, it just makes the forbidden carrot so much more agonizing.
Second, I discovered that when she was summarizing a book I already knew, I often found her descriptions so bland and/or misrepresentative that I maybe would have never picked up that particular book if I was going off of her recommendation alone. The problem with that was since I felt like she didn't do justice to the books I knew, it made me distrust her a little with the books I didn't know.
Third, the organization was a little bit random and haphazard. If I had been skimming rather than reading this section all the way through, I think I would have missed a lot of good books because I would have assumed they were somewhere else rather than where they actually were. Also, some of her summaries were placed in the most bizarre places. For example, she listed several of the books in The Wolves of Willoughby Chase series, but didn't put her summary until after the third book (which made it look like the first two listed weren't part of the same series (also, she classified this as a "young adult" novel and, as you might remember, we just read this book last month, and my kids loved it, and I'm still trying to figure out what was young adult about it since the girls in the story are about nine years old).
All of this makes it sound like I didn't like the book lists but quite the opposite is true. I just wanted you to have a heads up on some of the things to watch out for if you take a look through them. From these lists, we've already found some new favorites, such as Pete's a Pizza by William Steig, Meanwhile by Jules Feiffer, and Max Found Two Sticks by Brian Pinkney.
This book made me reevaluate the way I was choosing books for my kids, particularly the books that Aaron is reading on his own. I'll be sharing some of the changes I've made in a future post, so stay tuned for that. And meanwhile, go get this book and start making more conscientious choices for your family too.
A couple of months ago, my education group was planning out the next nine months of meetings. We each volunteered for a month to choose a book and host, and this is the book I went with. I was glad to finally have a reason to read this book and discuss it with other book-loving moms.
The book is divided into two sections. The first hundred or so pages make a case for why reading in the home is so wonderful and why every family should make it a priority. Of course, I loved these chapters. Reading with my kids is my very favorite way to spend time with them, and it's always nice to get some outside validation that what I love is actually what is best for them.
Gladys Hunt said, "Good literature teaches more than we know. Example always speaks louder than precept, and books can do more to inspire honor and tenacity of purpose than all the chiding and exhortations in the world."
She also used this section to talk about how to choose good books. Every time I go to the library without a plan (i.e., without twenty books already waiting for me on my hold shelf), I feel so overwhelmed (unless of course I'm by myself with twenty minutes of free time--then I'm happy to aimlessly peruse the shelves). The problem is, when I feel like I'm under a time constraint to find a worthwhile book for Aaron to read, the pressure of sifting through a lot of poor literature in hopes of finding the gold is really daunting.
Gladys Hunt defines a good book as "the quality of the idea, the skill of the plot, the depth of the characterization, [and] the distinctive style of the author." I agree with all those things, and I believe I can often recognize it when I find it. The problem is, finding it.
That's why book lists (from people you know and trust) can be such a gold mine. When other people have done the work for you, it's so easy to just click and reserve, click and reserve, and within ten minutes have a stack of books worth reading. I have many websites and blogs I trust for book recommendations (look at Where to Find a Good Children's Book and Nine Blogs I Visit For Book Recommendations for some of my favorites), but I really loved the second section of this book, which was list after list after list of tried-and-true books for children. (In fact, at one point, I closed this book, looked over at Mike and said, "I can't take it. There are too many good books to read.")
Seriously though, the book lists in this section are awesome (and I should know since, being the nerd that I am, I actually read this entire section cover to cover because it's so much fun to read a book list). I feel like I need to buy this book so that I'll be able to reference it whenever I'm reserving books at the library (a favorite nighttime activity for me).
That said, these aren't perfect lists, and I'll tell you why.
First, she recommends so many books that are currently out of print. I love discovering old classics, but it is really frustrating to hear about a good book and not be able to check it out from the library. I almost never buy books that I haven't already read, and I'm certainly not going to pay rare book prices if it's for a book I don't already know that we love. So I'm torn: I liked finding out about new books, but if I can't read them, it just makes the forbidden carrot so much more agonizing.
Second, I discovered that when she was summarizing a book I already knew, I often found her descriptions so bland and/or misrepresentative that I maybe would have never picked up that particular book if I was going off of her recommendation alone. The problem with that was since I felt like she didn't do justice to the books I knew, it made me distrust her a little with the books I didn't know.
Third, the organization was a little bit random and haphazard. If I had been skimming rather than reading this section all the way through, I think I would have missed a lot of good books because I would have assumed they were somewhere else rather than where they actually were. Also, some of her summaries were placed in the most bizarre places. For example, she listed several of the books in The Wolves of Willoughby Chase series, but didn't put her summary until after the third book (which made it look like the first two listed weren't part of the same series (also, she classified this as a "young adult" novel and, as you might remember, we just read this book last month, and my kids loved it, and I'm still trying to figure out what was young adult about it since the girls in the story are about nine years old).
All of this makes it sound like I didn't like the book lists but quite the opposite is true. I just wanted you to have a heads up on some of the things to watch out for if you take a look through them. From these lists, we've already found some new favorites, such as Pete's a Pizza by William Steig, Meanwhile by Jules Feiffer, and Max Found Two Sticks by Brian Pinkney.
This book made me reevaluate the way I was choosing books for my kids, particularly the books that Aaron is reading on his own. I'll be sharing some of the changes I've made in a future post, so stay tuned for that. And meanwhile, go get this book and start making more conscientious choices for your family too.
The Book Blab Episode 1: Introductions Plus Two Favorite Food Books (includes show notes)
Nov 20, 2015
Suzanne and I had so much fun recording our first official Blab last night. It was great to chat with her, and I'm already looking forward to doing it again next month. It definitely took me out of my comfort zone, but that's a good thing, right?
In case you missed it, you can watch the entire video below. Here's a breakdown of what we talked about:
0:44 - How Suzanne and Amy met
01:12 - Why we decided to start a video series
02:44 - A little bit about Suzanne
04:09 - A little bit about Amy
06:42 - Questions and Answers
Links from the show:
In case you missed it, you can watch the entire video below. Here's a breakdown of what we talked about:
0:44 - How Suzanne and Amy met
01:12 - Why we decided to start a video series
02:44 - A little bit about Suzanne
04:09 - A little bit about Amy
06:42 - Questions and Answers
- 07:10 - Favorite color
- 08:08 - Summer or winter
- 09:23 - Favorite Thanksgiving side dish
- 10:03 - If you could go anywhere in the world . . .
- 11:20 - Most exotic trip
- 12:29 - Restaurant preferences
- 14:19 - Favorite music (in which I say that Clair de Lune was written by Chopin?!, which just goes to show you how nervous I was)
- 16:01 - Favorite household chore
- 17:30 - Free time activity
- 19:08 - Early bird or night owl
- 20:36 - Dog person or cat person
- 23:38 - Suzanne: Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist
- 25:43 - Amy: Garlic and Sapphires by Ruth Reichl
Links from the show:
- Suzanne's post about missing the seasons
- Amy's trip to Australia
- Suzanne's decluttering tips
- Suzanne's review of Bread and Wine
- Amy's review of Garlic and Sapphires
What We're Listening to Right Now #4: Six More Favorites
Nov 18, 2015
Between driving in the car, going to bed at night, resting for quiet time, and just dancing around, my kids listen to music and other things quite a bit. Even though I just shared nine of our current favorites a couple of months ago, I already have another little group. The thing is, every time I write one of these posts, you all come back with some really great suggestions, which we try out and usually love, so then I have more things to share. It's a vicious, but wonderful, cycle. Keep it up.
1. Here Come the 123s by They Might Be Giants
I can't believe it's taken until now to mention our love for this rock band. Although they've only been writing music for kids since 2004, they've been around since the 1980's. Mike was well acquainted with them before I brought home Here Come the ABCs (their first children's album) from the library, but the rest of us have been quickly converted. They have a dry sense of humor that makes Mike crack up on a regular basis, they're not afraid to use big words, and they explore a lot of advanced concepts and ideas. Their songs are educational while being highly entertaining and catchy. It's a winning combination. My kids also really love their videos. Oh, and I just found out that they're releasing a new album, Why?, at the end of this month. Just in time for Christmas.
Favorite song: "Seven Days of the Week (I Never Go to Work)" (Mike would love to take this one as his theme song. Someday, honey.)
2. We All Live Together by Greg and Steve
A couple of years ago, I was participating in a preschool co-op, and one of the moms made up a CD of educational songs from her childhood for us to use when we were teaching. I used the song, "Months of the Year" every time it was my turn because it was such an easy way for the kids to learn the names of all twelve months. It wasn't until recently that I figured out that that song was sung by Greg and Steve. They've been around for decades and many of you probably already know them from your own childhoods. I must admit that the album cover I'm showing here is not necessarily my favorite album of theirs. As of right now, we've listened to a number of their albums, and I haven't absolutely loved every single song on any of them (but I've liked the majority), so I just went with an album cover that I liked (some of their covers are a little strange). They sing a mix of well-known and original songs, and while I won't pretend that these songs don't sound like they were recorded in the 1980's (they totally do) or that they're voices are my very favorite (they're not), there's still something about them that hits a sweet spot.
Favorite song: "Months of the Year" from the album, Sing and Read with Greg and Steve
3. Laurie Berkner's Favorite Classic Kids' Songs*
Remember when I devoted an entire post to Laurie Berkner? Well, she's getting a second mention here because last month she came out with a new album, and it's pretty fantastic. When I interviewed her six months ago, one of the questions I asked her was about if she's recorded any favorite songs from her own childhood. Part of her answer mentioned that she was in the process of recording some traditional songs for an album that was to be released later this year. This is that album! And truly, it's quite an impressive collection--nearly sixty songs (and almost half of them brand-new releases), covering such favorites as "The Ants Go Marching," "A-Tisket A-Tasket," and "The Itsy Bitsy Spider." These are songs that have been sung by generations of children, and now it's time to pass them down to my kids. It's surprisingly difficult to find a good collection of classic children's songs that are easy on the ears, but Laurie Berkner's voice and musical style are exactly right for the job. This will now be the album that I recommend to anyone who is looking for old favorites.
Favorite song: It's almost impossible to choose just one. I'm pretty sure my kids would choose "The Cat Came Back" until the end of time (they love that song), but one of our other favorites is "Shoo Fly."
4. Classical Playlist
This might be my favorite one on this list, maybe just because it's totally one-of-a-kind and you can't find it on Amazon (but you can create your own). So remember last time when I told you about the Classics for Kids episodes we were listening to every morning on the way to school? We're currently going strong on those (and listening to William Grant Still's segments this week), but I've been trying to figure out a way to capture and remember some of the things we've been listening to. I finally decided to choose one piece from each composer (preferably one of our favorites when we were listening to the episode) and compile them all into a classical playlist that we could listen to again and again. My kids have loved this. They request this playlist much more often than I would have predicted. They love reviewing details they remember from the episode, and they especially love quizzing Mike and seeing if he knows who each piece is by (the pieces by Kodaly and Kabalevsky totally stumped him). A couple of summers ago, one of our summer goals was to "Name that Composer." I intended to have the boys become acquainted with the music of five different composers, but although we listened to a lot of classical music that summer, none of it stuck. I just couldn't figure out a way to present it to them. But this Classics for Kids/classical playlist combination is it. My one tip would be if you create something similar, make sure you choose pieces in the 2-3 minute range. It doesn't matter how much your kids enjoy classical music, they're probably not going to stand for a 20-minute piece. They're just not.
Favorite piece: "Galop" from the Comedian Suite by Kabalevsky (look it up; it's a winner)
5. Jim Gill Sings Do Re Mi on His Toe Leg Knee
Jim Gill is another artist we've been familiar with for a long time but didn't really pin down who he was and what songs were his until recently (one of our librarians often plays his "Silly Dance Song" as part of storytime). Jim Gill's music has been around for more than twenty years, so I definitely could have heard his music when I was growing up (but I never did). His songs are silly and ridiculous and usually inspire some actions and movement. He usually accompanies himself on the guitar or banjo, and so his music has a twangy, country flavor that will make you start tapping your toes and clapping your hands. My kids can't help singing along with him. His enthusiasm and good humor are contagious.
Favorite song: "Spin Again" (Speaking of contagious, you'll get this one stuck in your head, but it's not obnoxious, I promise.)
6. Stories Podcast
My friend, Sarah, alerted me to this one. She knows that my kids, especially Maxwell, love listening to stories. While there are a number of story podcasts out there, this one is our current favorite because 1) It features traditional stories like The Ugly Duckling, The Three Little Pigs, and The Boy Who Cried Wolf, 2) There are usually a few little unexpected differences to the original story that make it interesting to even an adult listener, and 3) most of the episodes are in the 10-20 minute range, which is just about perfect for Bradley. The narrator is not my absolute favorite (the different voices she uses are a little over the top, but this is a kids' show, so I won't judge too harshly), but one of the things I love is that each episode includes a little song to help tell the story. Overall, it's a really great podcast.
Favorite episode: "The Ant and the Grasshopper" (this is a lesson I would love for my kids to soak in and apply to real life)
That's it for now. What have your kids been listening to lately?
*I received a copy of Laurie Berkner's album and was happy to review it because we love everything she puts out.
The Unrest-Cure and Other Stories by Saki
Nov 16, 2015

Eleven months later, and after trying at least a half dozen collections, I can tell you, it wasn't as simple as that. I tried Amy Bloom, Anthony Doerr, Alice Munroe, and Jhumpa Lahiri, but abandoned all of them after just a few pages because of their common thread of infidelity. Seriously, I was not interested in reading a collection of a dozen stories about infidelity, no matter how well-written or thought-provoking they were .
I began to wonder if it was possible to write a short story without infidelity or if that was a qualification for getting published. I had two other options: a thick volume of Jack London stories that would have taken me the rest of the year to finish or Just So Stories by Rudyard Kipling (which I read to the boys over the summer). The obvious choice should have been to just count Just So Stories since I could check it off right then and there and move on with my life.
But this is where you're going to see my Upholder Tendency coming through loud and clear. When I read Just So Stories to the boys, I intended to use it to fulfill my "read a children's classic" goal. In fact, I never gave a thought to it being a collection of short stories (even though, of course, that's exactly what it is). Additionally, when I made the goal to read a short stories collections, my intent was to get a feel for what the genre was like and read a popular, well-known collection. Even though I was the one making the rules, I didn't want to fall back on Just So Stories because it was the "easy" choice.
But after trying five other collections, I was about to do just that. I was definitely getting a feel for the genre, and I was beginning to think I was not cut out for short stories.
And then, someone, somewhere referenced Saki and The Unrest-Cure. I wish I could remember how I found out about it because I would love to personally thank whoever it was. I loved these stories, and, as it turned out, they were exactly what I was looking for all along.
Saki is the pen name of Hector Hugh Munro. He was born in 1870 and lived for most of his life in England before being killed during WWI. I'd never heard of Saki before picking up this book, but he was actually somewhat of an authority on the short story. Without meaning to, really just out of desperation, I picked up the kind of collection I had been wanting.
This particular collection is comprised of stories from five previously published collections. I liked getting a broad view of Saki's style. If I had to use three words to describe him, witty, sardonic, and morbid would all come to mind. I am not all that familiar with British humor, but several of Mike's family members are, and I have a feeling they would love these stories (if they haven't already discovered them, which they probably have). I'm guessing he would seem similar to P.G. Wodehouse, although that's an author I have yet to read.
Anyway, these stories were short, funny, and almost always involved some unexpected twist at the end.
For example, one of my favorite stories (and I guess one of his most popular ones) was "The Open Window." In it, Mr. Framton Nuttel has come to call on Mrs. Sappleton. He has just moved into the neighborhood and is seeking to become acquainted with his neighbors. Mrs. Sappleton's niece answers the door and entertains him while they are waiting. She confides to Mr. Nuttel that the drawing room window is open because her aunt is waiting for her husband to come home . . . he disappeared three years ago. She paints this sad and vivid and actually quite horrifying picture of her slightly insane aunt. Mr. Nuttel feels quite sorry about the whole situation, but his sympathy turns to terror when the aunt enters the drawing room and says, "Here they are at last! Just in time for tea." Mr. Nuttel can see three figures walking towards the open window, but he doesn't stick around to meet them. He bolts out the door, and the niece accounts for his strange behavior by coming up with an elaborate tale to match the one she just told him. The story ends, "Romance at short notice was her specialty."
All of them had that same slightly irreverent, sarcastic quality, and I really loved them. Here are a few other favorite lines:
- This from Egbert to his wife, Lady Anne, whom he's trying to smooth over a quarrel with: "My remark at lunch had a purely academic application," he announced; "you seem to put an unnecessarily personal significance to it."
- "Susan Mebberley was a charming woman, but she was also an aunt."
- "My aunt never lunches," said Clovis; "she belongs to the National Anti-Luncheon League, which is doing quite a lot of good work in a quiet, unobtrusive way. A subscription of half a crown per quarter entitles you to go without ninety-two luncheons."
- "The aunt of Mrs. Greyes declared afterwards that she found herself subconsciously repeating 'The Assyrian came down like a wolf on the fold' under her breath, and she was generally believed."
With 2016 just around the corner, I've been thinking about the reading goals I want to make for the year. "Read a short stories collection" will not be making the cut this time. However, if that's going to be one of your goals, I can save you a lot of time and trouble and decision: Just read this one. You're welcome.
I'd love to hear your own experiences with short stories in the comments. Did I abandon some of the other collections too quickly? Have you read anything by Saki before?
The Book Blab: A New (Video!) Series
Nov 13, 2015
Last week, I alluded to an upcoming project on the blog, and it's time to reveal it to you.
On the recent Sunlit Pages survey, one of you suggested including some video on the blog. While I wouldn't necessarily call a single suggestion a universal clamoring, it did plant the idea in my head. I considered: if I were to add some video to the blog, how would I do it? What would I talk about? What platform would I use?
The idea of sitting by myself chatting to a screen kind of terrified me, but then one of my friends suggested doing a Blab, and I was like, "What's a Blab?"
The simplest answer is that Blab is like Periscope but for several people. But if you're like me and haven't joined the Periscope craze yet, then that explanation probably didn't help you.
Basically, Blab is a live video streaming service where two to four people interact through video and potentially many more people watch and participate through comments on the sidebar. Rather than a couple of people videoing their conversation in isolation and then publishing it for everyone to see, it all happens live, right in front of you.
The idea that I wouldn't be doing this alone was instantly appealing, and I knew almost immediately who I wanted for my partner in crime: Suzanne.
You might remember Suzanne from my post about nine blogs I visit for book recommendations. Her blog, Such Stuff, has been one of my favorites for a long time, and I knew that if there was someone I'd feel comfortable just chatting over the screen to, it would be her. I proposed the idea, she liked it, and we began to work out the details.
We are finally ready to share those details with you:
Our first blab will air live next Thursday evening, November 19th, at 7:00 PM MST (that's 6:00 PST, 8:00 CST, and 9:00 EST). There are a few options for how to view this event:
- You can watch the video live from this site (or Suzanne's site) at the scheduled time. So just pop over here at 7:00 MST, and the video will be going. You won't have to do a thing. As my kids would say, easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy, right?
- Alternatively, you can watch it directly from the blab site by following this link (from your desktop or your phone). If you want to participate, you can sign in using your twitter account (don't worry, you won't be on video--you'll just be able to type in comments and questions).
- If you can't make it on November 19th at 7:00 MST, we will be recording the blab and will post the replay of it the following day, so you can watch it at your convenience.
Questions? If this confuses any of you, feel free to ask me more about it. I don't promise to know the answer since this is the first time in my life I've been on the social media forefront. Also, if there's anything you've been dying to know about Suzanne or me, feel free to ask and we'll try to answer it on Thursday. See you then!
P.S. Check out Suzanne's announcement, too. She does a better job of explaining this whole Blab thing.
Go-to Author #1: Brandon Sanderson (Part 2 - My Epic Post about Epic Fantasy)
Nov 11, 2015
Guest Post by Mike
Hello again! I spent the last week of Amy's blog break on a work trip, and didn't get a chance to finish my comments on Brandon Sanderson.
I must again admit that I am firmly on the Sanderson bandwagon, so don't expect me to be too critical. Some friends who read both Sunlit Pages and Sanderson told me that they were not so enamored with the end of the Mistborn series. They made some good points about magic coming out of nowhere, which is one of my pet peeves in the genre. I must have been blinded by my pro-Brandon bias to the point that I didn't even notice. I guess I'll have to go back and read the series again. Darn.
But that's not the point of this post. I actually want to comment on the Stormlight Archive series. Before I do that, I need to talk about the Wheel of Time: the massive, super-epic fantasy series by Robert Jordan (and Brandon Sanderson).
I started reading the first book in the series, The Eye of the World, as a pre-teen sometime in the early nineties. By then there were about four or five books in the series. Each one was long. Each one blew me away with the level of detail, character development, creativity, foreshadowing, adventure, and story. And it wasn't just me. My brothers, friends, and cousins were all deep into it, to the point where our annual family reunions included a Wheel of Time book discussion. We'd talk about our favorite parts and especially hash out our theories on what the prophesies meant for future books. Those were the glory days of the series. I can vividly remember the feelings of anticipation for the next 800 page installment, putting it on hold at the library months before it came out, and still being literally number 481 in the queue.
And then it all changed. Starting at about book #7, the story had become so involved, and there were so many characters going in so many different ways, that even 766 paperback pages weren't enough to move the story forward. The plot bogged down severely. Plus the books were taking longer to come out, and I was both forgetting what had just happened and losing interest in reading the previous (boring) book to find out. I know I am speaking blasphemy to many Wheel of Time fans, but search your heart. You know I am speaking the truth.
Eventually I lost enough interest that I had no desire to even finish the series into which I had invested so much of my youth. The series was approaching 10+ books, and I didn't see any way for it to wrap up soon. And then, tragically, Robert Jordan passed away. Even though I was not involved with reading the books anymore, I was saddened by his loss and thought it was ironic that his epic series has started so fast, slowed down so much, and was now halted indefinitely with nothing even remotely resembling a conclusion. I had at least wanted to ask my friends how it ended.
And then--Brandon Sanderson was selected to finish the series. That actually meant nothing to me at the time because I hadn't discovered him yet. But after I read Mistborn and some other Sanderson books, I was impressed enough by his writing that I could see why Sanderson had been chosen to finish Jordan's work. I thought the thing would never end, so I couldn't believe that he had actually tied up all the loose ends in only three books. My curiosity pushed me to finish the series and see if he managed to recapture the excitement from the beginning of the series. I must say that he did a pretty good job. It really was an amazing feat to fit as much plot resolution as was needed while staying true to the feel of the previous books.
Do I love the Wheel of Time Series (all 14 books and 12,000 pages)? No. And in fact, I don't even recommend that you read it. Those middle books are just too hard to get through. If I had a suggestion, maybe just pretend that the first three books are a trilogy. That is the best stopping place before getting dragged in beyond what is reasonable. You will have to do some imagining of what happens after, but a little lack of closure will be worth the savings in time and heartache.
My purpose of going through that lengthy review, was to give a little perspective on Brandon Sanderson's mindset towards his Stormlight Archive series. It is going to be similarly long. He says not quite as long as the Wheel of Time, but Tor has purchased at least four books, and Sanderson thinks there will be more than that. If I'm going to invest in another long fantasy series, I want some assurance that it will be worth my time.
On his blog, Sanderson has stated that his career has been "deeply influenced" by the Wheel of Time series. He said that even before he was asked to finish writing it. I have to think that he learned a lot of the good and bad of a long, epic fantasy series from both reading and writing the Wheel of Time. It must have been tortuously difficult to bring all those far-flung character threads back together to make a plausible ending. There's no way he's going to let that disorder happen to his own series.
Talking about his new series he said, "[The Way of Kings is] what you might call my baby, the grand epic I’ve been wanting to tell for many years. I now feel my writing skill is capable of doing the story justice." That was when he was about done wrapping up the Wheel of Time.
The first two Stormlight books are on par with the first books in the Wheel of Time. Very creative and fun to read. The audiobooks are amazingly performed as well. It will be interesting to see if he really did learn his lesson and is able to keep the story contained through multiple books. He says that he will only be telling the story mainly through three central viewpoints. So I bet he continues to do a great job.
The only question in my mind is if it would be smarter for you to wait until the series is about done to start reading it, so you don't have to keep waiting for the next book... Nah.
Hello again! I spent the last week of Amy's blog break on a work trip, and didn't get a chance to finish my comments on Brandon Sanderson.
I must again admit that I am firmly on the Sanderson bandwagon, so don't expect me to be too critical. Some friends who read both Sunlit Pages and Sanderson told me that they were not so enamored with the end of the Mistborn series. They made some good points about magic coming out of nowhere, which is one of my pet peeves in the genre. I must have been blinded by my pro-Brandon bias to the point that I didn't even notice. I guess I'll have to go back and read the series again. Darn.
But that's not the point of this post. I actually want to comment on the Stormlight Archive series. Before I do that, I need to talk about the Wheel of Time: the massive, super-epic fantasy series by Robert Jordan (and Brandon Sanderson).
I started reading the first book in the series, The Eye of the World, as a pre-teen sometime in the early nineties. By then there were about four or five books in the series. Each one was long. Each one blew me away with the level of detail, character development, creativity, foreshadowing, adventure, and story. And it wasn't just me. My brothers, friends, and cousins were all deep into it, to the point where our annual family reunions included a Wheel of Time book discussion. We'd talk about our favorite parts and especially hash out our theories on what the prophesies meant for future books. Those were the glory days of the series. I can vividly remember the feelings of anticipation for the next 800 page installment, putting it on hold at the library months before it came out, and still being literally number 481 in the queue.
And then it all changed. Starting at about book #7, the story had become so involved, and there were so many characters going in so many different ways, that even 766 paperback pages weren't enough to move the story forward. The plot bogged down severely. Plus the books were taking longer to come out, and I was both forgetting what had just happened and losing interest in reading the previous (boring) book to find out. I know I am speaking blasphemy to many Wheel of Time fans, but search your heart. You know I am speaking the truth.

Wheel of Time series in all it's glory
Eventually I lost enough interest that I had no desire to even finish the series into which I had invested so much of my youth. The series was approaching 10+ books, and I didn't see any way for it to wrap up soon. And then, tragically, Robert Jordan passed away. Even though I was not involved with reading the books anymore, I was saddened by his loss and thought it was ironic that his epic series has started so fast, slowed down so much, and was now halted indefinitely with nothing even remotely resembling a conclusion. I had at least wanted to ask my friends how it ended.
And then--Brandon Sanderson was selected to finish the series. That actually meant nothing to me at the time because I hadn't discovered him yet. But after I read Mistborn and some other Sanderson books, I was impressed enough by his writing that I could see why Sanderson had been chosen to finish Jordan's work. I thought the thing would never end, so I couldn't believe that he had actually tied up all the loose ends in only three books. My curiosity pushed me to finish the series and see if he managed to recapture the excitement from the beginning of the series. I must say that he did a pretty good job. It really was an amazing feat to fit as much plot resolution as was needed while staying true to the feel of the previous books.
Do I love the Wheel of Time Series (all 14 books and 12,000 pages)? No. And in fact, I don't even recommend that you read it. Those middle books are just too hard to get through. If I had a suggestion, maybe just pretend that the first three books are a trilogy. That is the best stopping place before getting dragged in beyond what is reasonable. You will have to do some imagining of what happens after, but a little lack of closure will be worth the savings in time and heartache.
My purpose of going through that lengthy review, was to give a little perspective on Brandon Sanderson's mindset towards his Stormlight Archive series. It is going to be similarly long. He says not quite as long as the Wheel of Time, but Tor has purchased at least four books, and Sanderson thinks there will be more than that. If I'm going to invest in another long fantasy series, I want some assurance that it will be worth my time.
On his blog, Sanderson has stated that his career has been "deeply influenced" by the Wheel of Time series. He said that even before he was asked to finish writing it. I have to think that he learned a lot of the good and bad of a long, epic fantasy series from both reading and writing the Wheel of Time. It must have been tortuously difficult to bring all those far-flung character threads back together to make a plausible ending. There's no way he's going to let that disorder happen to his own series.
Talking about his new series he said, "[The Way of Kings is] what you might call my baby, the grand epic I’ve been wanting to tell for many years. I now feel my writing skill is capable of doing the story justice." That was when he was about done wrapping up the Wheel of Time.
The first two Stormlight books are on par with the first books in the Wheel of Time. Very creative and fun to read. The audiobooks are amazingly performed as well. It will be interesting to see if he really did learn his lesson and is able to keep the story contained through multiple books. He says that he will only be telling the story mainly through three central viewpoints. So I bet he continues to do a great job.
The only question in my mind is if it would be smarter for you to wait until the series is about done to start reading it, so you don't have to keep waiting for the next book... Nah.
The Lost Art of Saying Thank You
Nov 9, 2015
It feels ironic to me to be writing this post because I had no intention of writing it. A few weeks ago, I planned out my posts for November, and this post was not on the schedule. If there's one thing November doesn't need, it's another gratitude post.
But then Halloween came. We wanted to go trick-or-treating as a family, and so we left a bowl of candy on our porch with the instructions, Take One. Most of our friends laughed at our naive trust. "Does that really work?" they asked. "I bet a couple of kids cleaned it out in the first five minutes."
It was still early in the evening, not even dark yet. I could imagine such a thing happening once it was late enough for the teenagers to be out, but right now, almost all of the kids I was seeing were accompanied by adults, and surely the parents wouldn't allow their kids to be so greedy and selfish?
Several days later, I was talking to a friend about Halloween. She told me about the haunted house she'd made in the back of her dad's truck where kids could reach into various compartments in search of candy. Even though she specifically said, "Please just take one piece of candy," the kids would leave with handfuls. Often, the parents were standing right there, listening to her instructions, watching their kids' actions, and doing nothing.
And then November came with its barrage of gratitude around every corner, but all I could see was this wide chasm of inconsistency between the actions on Halloween night and the actions during the first week of November. Were the same parents who had turned a blind eye to their children's greediness on Halloween the very ones who were now encouraging them to write little gratitude notes every day? It suddenly all seemed very superficial to me . . . like we're being grateful for show but not where it really matters. It might sound dramatic for me to say this, but there is a plague of ingratitude sweeping the world, and it is the parents who are at fault. Through word and action, we are teaching our kids how to pretend to be grateful while overlooking the very things that would actually cultivate that trait in each of us.
Here are some of the things I'm talking about:
Write thank you notes--real thank you notes--for gifts or kind actions given. This is not a gratitude activity (Think of someone you're grateful for and write them a note). No, no, no. This is a practical and tangible response to an actual event (Scott gave you a birthday present, so you need to thank him for it). Yes, it takes time and effort on the part of the parent and the child (and I'll be the first to admit that sometimes I drop the ball and never remember to put on a stamp and stick it in the mail), but it is worth it. Of course, a mumbled, cursory "thank you" is better than nothing, but I promise you that your children will develop a deeper feeling of appreciation if they have to write it out and mail it.
Take care of your possessions. I've been thinking about this one a lot lately because we are not very good at it. My kids leave their scooters and their bikes (not to mention their socks and shoes and coats) all over the front lawn. They toss off their helmets and let them fall with cracking thumps to the driveway. They lose game pieces and marker lids and Lego guys. I'm almost certain this is as much an issue of having too much stuff as it is about being grateful for what we have, but that's a post for another day. Possessions are not expendable, but I think it often seems that way to our children. Just the other day, Aaron broke his watchband. It wasn't his fault (he got it caught while jumping at a trampoline place), but I'm still wondering if I made the right choice in immediately ordering him another one. Did it come across as, "Oh, you broke your watch? No big deal. Here's another one." I really want my kids to value what they have, take personal responsibility for it, and keep it in good condition.
Wait for an offer. Some of you will disagree with me on this one. I have friends who want their home to be open and inviting: Come on in, and feel free to raid the pantry and refrigerator! In some ways, that's great. It shows selflessness and generosity, but it does those on the receiving end a great disservice. They develop an entitled attitude (which is probably why, even when my friend told the kids to just take one piece of candy, they felt like they could disregard what she said and grab a handful). I'm always reminding my kids when they go to a friend's house, "Do not ask for food. If it's offered to you, you may say, 'yes, please' or 'no, thank you.'" I know they don't always listen (especially if it's in a home where they feel very comfortable--sorry, Sonja!), but I'm not giving up. Part of being grateful involves not assuming that the world is yours for the taking.
Practice saying "thank you." A few years ago, I was at a bridal shower where the bride-to-be didn't say thank you even once as she sat opening gifts. It seemed like a glaring oversight to me, but she seemed totally unfazed. I wondered how you could get to adulthood and not have saying "thank you" come up as a natural response, but as I taught this skill to my children, I began to understand. One of my children is very shy and will do almost anything to get out of saying "thank you" to someone because it embarrasses him. I have to give him many opportunities to practice saying those two little words so that they don't make him feel so uncomfortable. Forcing my children to say thank you and practicing it with them might seem superficial, but I believe this is one of my jobs as a parent. When I was growing up, we couldn't leave the table without thanking my mom for the "delicious dinner." Was it always perfectly sincere? No, but my parents were giving us opportunities to practice saying thank you in an environment that was safe and non-judgmental. We developed feelings of real gratitude as we gave acknowledgement to others through our verbal thanks.
Be generous. When we feel thankful, we share our bounty with others. Isn't that kind of the message behind the first Thanksgiving? The American Indians helped the Pilgrims with their crops, and then the Pilgrims shared their feast with them. When we feel blessed, a natural response should be that we want to find someone to help. But again, sometimes those "natural" responses take a little nudging before they become habits, and we have a responsibility to encourage such giving.
Practice daily gratitude. Because we are religious, my family and I have many opportunities every day to acknowledge our blessings through prayer. Whether you're religious or not though, the act of daily gratitude is so important. That's why gratitude journals and challenges and posters are so popular. People realize that when they take a step back and acknowledge their blessings, they are happier. For me, I choose to do this in my prayers and thank my Heavenly Father who I believe is the Giver of all good things.
I guess my main point with all of this is that we have got to stop assuming that our children will grow up and magically write thank you notes, take care of their possessions, wait for an offer, say thank you, be generous, and practice daily gratitude. They won't. Unless we make it a habit now, unless we give them opportunities to be grateful every day, unless we model this behavior ourselves, and unless we really expect this behavior from them, they won't. Let's halt the plague of ingratitude, right now, during this month of Thanksgiving so that next October, there will be very different children saying, "Trick or Treat."
Raising Readers: The Quiet Security of Books
Nov 4, 2015
Before we get into today's topic, I want to broach an idea with you. I started the Raising Readers series on this blog more than two years ago. During that time, we've explored such topics as the power of rereading, giving Dad a turn, and creating a library space in your home. I've enjoyed sharing some of the things that have worked in our family as we've tried to cultivate a love of books and reading in our home.
But every family is unique, and I think we could all benefit from hearing from the perspectives and experiences of others. That is why I am now opening up the Raising Readers series to you. If you would be interested in writing a guest post on this topic, please email me: sunlitpages [at] gmail [dot] com. You don't have to have a blog to be eligible (although, if you do, I will definitely link to it). You just need to have a desire to raise a family of readers.
The topics to be explored are as unique as your family. In the past, I've talked about everything from the actual teaching of reading to the importance of reading aloud to great reading material for all levels. Basically, I want you to ask yourself the question, How do I help my family love books? and then share the answer with all of us. I look forward to hearing from you!
And now, let's talk about books and security and how the two go together.
Over the last couple of weeks, I've been reading a book called Honey for a Child's Heart, which is kind of like a Raising Readers handbook. Gladys Hunt talks about why books and reading are so important in the raising up of a child and gives suggestions for great books that are worth reading (the book lists at the back of the book are a gold mine).
She said one thing early on that struck me and that I've been thinking about ever since: "Books . . . impart a sense of security." As soon as I read that, I knew it was true. I've felt that sense of security around books my whole life. But why?
We read this book for my education principles group last month, and I took advantage of a captive audience to ask them that very question: Why do books impart a sense of security?
Here are our answers:
Books and reading create a familiar ritual. I am a creature of habit, and I don't think I'm alone in this. As fun as it is to try new things and explore new places, there's something so comforting about coming back to a regular routine. When reading aloud is a part of that routine, we feel safe and content when we're doing it. If there's time and space to read aloud, then it must mean that everything is all right.
Books give the family a shared language. When we experience books together, we create a shared perspective that is unique to our family. Whenever my kids get a day off from school, I think about how Pippi Longstocking went to school just because she wanted the days off. When I see a chocolate coin, I think about when John Midas bit into his friend, Susan's, birthday silver dollar and it instantly turned to chocolate in his mouth. I can't see a picture of a salmon without thinking about the time Henry Huggins caught a king salmon (a chinook) with his bare hands. I could mention any of these things to my kids, and they would know exactly what I was talking about (whereas the rest of you might think I was crazy). Books create the shared language, experiences, perspectives, and, yes, even inside jokes that are so important to creating a family culture. When you know that someone else will be able to relate, you feel secure.
Reading aloud provides an opportunity to be physically close to one another. One of the moms in our education group mentioned that she is generally not a very touchy-feely person. Her daughter, however, is. When they read together, they sit side-by-side in the recliner, which gives the daughter the physical closeness she wants but does it in a way the mom feels comfortable with. In our family, it's kind of the opposite. One of the boys doesn't love cuddles and often squirms out of my reach while telling me I'm "squishing" him. But when we're reading together, he invariably wants to sidle up close. In fact, when I read aloud to the boys at night, they usually rotate who gets to sit with me so that they all get a turn. This gives them some one-on-one time within the larger family activity.
Reading aloud is an activity that even very young children can be a part of. My mom likes to remind us that my younger brother listened to A Little Princess when he was only three years old. She claims he loved and understood it, and while I don't doubt the truthfulness of that, I also think that, whether he actually liked it or not, the chance to be with the family was a major incentive. In Honey for a Child's Heart, Gladys Hunt said, "The youngest, even if she doesn't always understand, feels the comfortable security of the parent's voice and of being included in the 'inner circle.'" I've seen this in our own home with Bradley. Sometimes he really loves what we're reading aloud, but often times, he's there simply because it's a comfortable environment--part of our routine where he gets a turn to sit by me.
Books give children a chance to explore difficult subjects in a safe environment. The more you read together, the more you encounter a variety of topics. Some of them are fun and silly, but many of them are quite serious: death, illness, divorce, bullying, feeling left out, danger, and fear take a part in many books for children. Reading about these things feels safe because none of them are actually happening to you. However, your family may be going through something similar (or you may know someone else who is), and reading a story with one of these themes can open up the door to a much-needed discussion.
I'm sure there are many more ways that "books impart a sense of security." Please share your ideas in the comments. (And don't forget, if you'd like to share your family's own unique experience of raising readers in a future guest post, email me: sunlitpages [at] gmail [dot] com.)
But every family is unique, and I think we could all benefit from hearing from the perspectives and experiences of others. That is why I am now opening up the Raising Readers series to you. If you would be interested in writing a guest post on this topic, please email me: sunlitpages [at] gmail [dot] com. You don't have to have a blog to be eligible (although, if you do, I will definitely link to it). You just need to have a desire to raise a family of readers.
The topics to be explored are as unique as your family. In the past, I've talked about everything from the actual teaching of reading to the importance of reading aloud to great reading material for all levels. Basically, I want you to ask yourself the question, How do I help my family love books? and then share the answer with all of us. I look forward to hearing from you!
And now, let's talk about books and security and how the two go together.
Over the last couple of weeks, I've been reading a book called Honey for a Child's Heart, which is kind of like a Raising Readers handbook. Gladys Hunt talks about why books and reading are so important in the raising up of a child and gives suggestions for great books that are worth reading (the book lists at the back of the book are a gold mine).
She said one thing early on that struck me and that I've been thinking about ever since: "Books . . . impart a sense of security." As soon as I read that, I knew it was true. I've felt that sense of security around books my whole life. But why?
We read this book for my education principles group last month, and I took advantage of a captive audience to ask them that very question: Why do books impart a sense of security?
Here are our answers:
Books and reading create a familiar ritual. I am a creature of habit, and I don't think I'm alone in this. As fun as it is to try new things and explore new places, there's something so comforting about coming back to a regular routine. When reading aloud is a part of that routine, we feel safe and content when we're doing it. If there's time and space to read aloud, then it must mean that everything is all right.
Books give the family a shared language. When we experience books together, we create a shared perspective that is unique to our family. Whenever my kids get a day off from school, I think about how Pippi Longstocking went to school just because she wanted the days off. When I see a chocolate coin, I think about when John Midas bit into his friend, Susan's, birthday silver dollar and it instantly turned to chocolate in his mouth. I can't see a picture of a salmon without thinking about the time Henry Huggins caught a king salmon (a chinook) with his bare hands. I could mention any of these things to my kids, and they would know exactly what I was talking about (whereas the rest of you might think I was crazy). Books create the shared language, experiences, perspectives, and, yes, even inside jokes that are so important to creating a family culture. When you know that someone else will be able to relate, you feel secure.
Reading aloud provides an opportunity to be physically close to one another. One of the moms in our education group mentioned that she is generally not a very touchy-feely person. Her daughter, however, is. When they read together, they sit side-by-side in the recliner, which gives the daughter the physical closeness she wants but does it in a way the mom feels comfortable with. In our family, it's kind of the opposite. One of the boys doesn't love cuddles and often squirms out of my reach while telling me I'm "squishing" him. But when we're reading together, he invariably wants to sidle up close. In fact, when I read aloud to the boys at night, they usually rotate who gets to sit with me so that they all get a turn. This gives them some one-on-one time within the larger family activity.
Reading aloud is an activity that even very young children can be a part of. My mom likes to remind us that my younger brother listened to A Little Princess when he was only three years old. She claims he loved and understood it, and while I don't doubt the truthfulness of that, I also think that, whether he actually liked it or not, the chance to be with the family was a major incentive. In Honey for a Child's Heart, Gladys Hunt said, "The youngest, even if she doesn't always understand, feels the comfortable security of the parent's voice and of being included in the 'inner circle.'" I've seen this in our own home with Bradley. Sometimes he really loves what we're reading aloud, but often times, he's there simply because it's a comfortable environment--part of our routine where he gets a turn to sit by me.
Books give children a chance to explore difficult subjects in a safe environment. The more you read together, the more you encounter a variety of topics. Some of them are fun and silly, but many of them are quite serious: death, illness, divorce, bullying, feeling left out, danger, and fear take a part in many books for children. Reading about these things feels safe because none of them are actually happening to you. However, your family may be going through something similar (or you may know someone else who is), and reading a story with one of these themes can open up the door to a much-needed discussion.
I'm sure there are many more ways that "books impart a sense of security." Please share your ideas in the comments. (And don't forget, if you'd like to share your family's own unique experience of raising readers in a future guest post, email me: sunlitpages [at] gmail [dot] com.)
A Little of This and That in October
Nov 2, 2015
In October, you might have found us . . .
Cranking . . . up the heater. That'd be me. People have been asking me if I've turned on the heat yet. Um, yes. On October 1st. I am not out to win the who-can-hold-out-the-longest-while-freezing-themselves-silly award.
Putting . . . together Halloween costumes. Ever since reading The Wonderful Wizard of Oz clear back in April, this has been the plan, even though we didn't actually start working on anything until two weeks ago. We had Mike as the Scarecrow, me as Dorothy, Aaron as The Great Oz, Maxwell as the Tin Woodman, Bradley as the Cowardly Lion, and Clark as Toto.
Enjoying . . . some time with Mike's parents while they were here for General Conference at the beginning of the month.
Watching . . . the annual family film festival. There were some really good entries this year.
Waiting . . . for our huge maple tree to drop all of its leaves. I think we're still going to be waiting for at least another month.
Spending . . . time with ancient dinosaur bones and petroglyphs at Dinosaur National Monument. It was a fun way to spend Fall Break, made even more fun because we were there with some of our dear friends.
Listening . . . to all of the talks from the most recent General Conference. Some of my favorites are "Yielding Our Hearts to God," "What Lack I Yet?," and "Faith is Not By Chance, But By Choice."
Listening to a talk each morning is one of the best things I do to help my day go smoothly. So grateful for these inspiring words that strengthen my testimony.
Basking . . . in the beautiful autumn weather--because if I don't bask in it, then I'll probably cry about it. (Autumn is perhaps the cruelest season--it lures you into thinking it's comfortable and cool, and then you wake up to snow. That's mean.)
Feeling . . . grateful (so grateful) for a week-long visit from my mom when Mike was in California for work. Without her, that would have been a week of survival instead of a week of fun.
Griping . . . about Aaron and Maxwell's different school schedules (even though I was the one who signed up for it).
Visiting . . . the pumpkin patch to pick out the perfect pumpkin.
Making . . . impulse purchases on Amazon. I'm sorry, but if you find Leo: A Ghost Story for under $9, you have to snatch it up. You just have to.
Mourning . . . the dark mornings and even darker evenings. I've been feeling out of sorts lately, and I'm pretty sure this has something to do with it.
Anticipating . . . serving as a Round 2 judge on the Cybils panel for the Easy Reader/Early Chapter Book category. There have been a lot of great books published this year, so it should be fun.
Attending . . . Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. My kids have become die-hard Harry Potter fans since we finished the first book a few weeks ago, so they took the family party very seriously. The kids went to four different classes (Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Care of Magical Creatures, and Divination) with some truly excellent performances from Mike and his siblings acting as the professors.
Reading . . . The Sound of Paper and The Unrest Cure and Other Stories to complete my "read a book on writing" and "read a short stories collection" goals respectively. The boys and I are reading Dominic by William Steig (highly recommend), and I'm finally listening to Being Mortal (and finding it utterly fascinating).
Loving . . . Clark's little reverent attitude when we're praying. All we have to do is say, "Clark, we're going to pray," and he folds his arms together and bows his head. Sweetest. sight. ever.
Admiring . . . Aaron's costume. His was my favorite. Other people mistook him for a leprechaun, but he didn't care. He has always loved the color green, so the wizard was perfect for him. Plus, how often do you see anyone dress up as the wizard? That's what I thought.
Praising . . . Bradley's reading. He turned a corner last week, and now he wants to read everything he can get his hands on. He's not anywhere close to fluent yet, but he's making rapid progress. His first official book was Go, Dog! Go! but he has read many more since then.
Planning . . . a fun project for the blog; you'll find out what it is later this month!
Cranking . . . up the heater. That'd be me. People have been asking me if I've turned on the heat yet. Um, yes. On October 1st. I am not out to win the who-can-hold-out-the-longest-while-freezing-themselves-silly award.
Putting . . . together Halloween costumes. Ever since reading The Wonderful Wizard of Oz clear back in April, this has been the plan, even though we didn't actually start working on anything until two weeks ago. We had Mike as the Scarecrow, me as Dorothy, Aaron as The Great Oz, Maxwell as the Tin Woodman, Bradley as the Cowardly Lion, and Clark as Toto.
Enjoying . . . some time with Mike's parents while they were here for General Conference at the beginning of the month.
Watching . . . the annual family film festival. There were some really good entries this year.
Waiting . . . for our huge maple tree to drop all of its leaves. I think we're still going to be waiting for at least another month.
Spending . . . time with ancient dinosaur bones and petroglyphs at Dinosaur National Monument. It was a fun way to spend Fall Break, made even more fun because we were there with some of our dear friends.
Listening . . . to all of the talks from the most recent General Conference. Some of my favorites are "Yielding Our Hearts to God," "What Lack I Yet?," and "Faith is Not By Chance, But By Choice."
Listening to a talk each morning is one of the best things I do to help my day go smoothly. So grateful for these inspiring words that strengthen my testimony.
Basking . . . in the beautiful autumn weather--because if I don't bask in it, then I'll probably cry about it. (Autumn is perhaps the cruelest season--it lures you into thinking it's comfortable and cool, and then you wake up to snow. That's mean.)
Feeling . . . grateful (so grateful) for a week-long visit from my mom when Mike was in California for work. Without her, that would have been a week of survival instead of a week of fun.
Griping . . . about Aaron and Maxwell's different school schedules (even though I was the one who signed up for it).
Visiting . . . the pumpkin patch to pick out the perfect pumpkin.
Making . . . impulse purchases on Amazon. I'm sorry, but if you find Leo: A Ghost Story for under $9, you have to snatch it up. You just have to.
Mourning . . . the dark mornings and even darker evenings. I've been feeling out of sorts lately, and I'm pretty sure this has something to do with it.
Anticipating . . . serving as a Round 2 judge on the Cybils panel for the Easy Reader/Early Chapter Book category. There have been a lot of great books published this year, so it should be fun.
Attending . . . Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. My kids have become die-hard Harry Potter fans since we finished the first book a few weeks ago, so they took the family party very seriously. The kids went to four different classes (Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Care of Magical Creatures, and Divination) with some truly excellent performances from Mike and his siblings acting as the professors.
Reading . . . The Sound of Paper and The Unrest Cure and Other Stories to complete my "read a book on writing" and "read a short stories collection" goals respectively. The boys and I are reading Dominic by William Steig (highly recommend), and I'm finally listening to Being Mortal (and finding it utterly fascinating).
Loving . . . Clark's little reverent attitude when we're praying. All we have to do is say, "Clark, we're going to pray," and he folds his arms together and bows his head. Sweetest. sight. ever.
Admiring . . . Aaron's costume. His was my favorite. Other people mistook him for a leprechaun, but he didn't care. He has always loved the color green, so the wizard was perfect for him. Plus, how often do you see anyone dress up as the wizard? That's what I thought.
Praising . . . Bradley's reading. He turned a corner last week, and now he wants to read everything he can get his hands on. He's not anywhere close to fluent yet, but he's making rapid progress. His first official book was Go, Dog! Go! but he has read many more since then.
Planning . . . a fun project for the blog; you'll find out what it is later this month!
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