Five Things I Started Doing in 2015 That Changed My Life For the Better

I wouldn't say 2015 was a groundbreaking year for me. It was a good (and, in other ways, a hard) year, but it wasn't one of those where I look back and think, Wow, what a crazy ride. I can't believe all that happened. Has it not even been a year since ______?

However, even without any monumental changes, there have been a few things I started doing consistently that now, stepping back, I can see that, even though they're small, they've blessed my life in a significant way. And let that be a lesson to me: small steps, consistently taken, sometimes have a bigger long-term impact than world-rocking ones (and, if I'm being honest, I actually prefer those types of changes as opposed to the ones that leave me reeling).

 
Listening to a Conference Talk Every Morning
Every April and October, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (of which I am a member) holds, what's known as, General Conference. Lasting for two days, it consists of four general sessions filled with dozens of talks from leaders in the Church. Those are some of my favorite days of the year. They're a time for me to be filled up spiritually, and I always come away with a stronger testimony and sense of purpose.

Around the time of last April's conference, I was trying to figure out how to give more priority to my spiritual life. I was reading my scriptures every day but usually that was happening at night and sometimes I could only get a few verses in before I fell asleep. I knew I really needed something at the beginning of the day to give it a boost and help me stay focused on the most important things. All of the conference talks are archived, and I decided to start listening to one talk every morning as I got ready for the day.

This has made a huge difference in my spiritual well-being. It hasn't replaced my daily scripture study but it's been a way for me to start the day off building my faith and thinking about my Savior, Jesus Christ, without having to find a quiet place to read my scriptures (which is pretty much impossible in the crazy chaos of the morning). Instead, I can just pull one up on my phone, put in my headphones, and listen while I'm making lunches or cleaning up the house or doing my hair. It was one of those habits that slid into my normal routine so easily that it was like it was meant to be there. (Two of the talks I've returned to the most from last conference have been Yielding Our Hearts to God by Neill F. Marriott and Faith is Not By Chance, but by Choice by Neil L. Andersen.)

Going on Weekly Dates
This has been something Mike and I have tried to do our whole married lives, but once we added children to the mix, it became much more difficult. Finding a babysitter stressed me out and often,  it felt easier to just stay home than try to coordinate all of the logistics to make an evening out happen. Plus, I harbored a little resentment because, when we did go out, I felt like I was the one who did the bulk of the planning, and it seemed like something we should both be invested in.

Then, early in the year, my sister-in-law, Sonja, mentioned that she and her husband were trying really hard to go on weekly dates. They traded off the planning every other month, and that sounded like a pretty awesome idea to me. I sold the idea to Mike as a competition (we would each take a month and keep track of the dates and whoever ended up planning the most dates would be the winner), but within just a couple of months, we stopped talking about the competition aspect of it. We were just having fun spending quality time together. Since we trade back and forth, I actually enjoy when it's my turn to do the planning because I get to do things that are fun for me, and when it's Mike's month, I relish not planning anything while knowing the dates will still happen.

Doing it this way has also helped us branch out from the standard "go out for dinner" or "stay home and watch a movie" dates we were used to. In the past year, we've gone to an art exhibit, been on a couple of hikes, gone to concerts and plays, and even done a room escape mystery.

Also, over the last nine months, we've discovered that we love middle-of-the-week, middle-of-the-day dates. They feel so indulgent.

Making lunches for the boys
A few months ago, Janssen mentioned that she was packing lunches for both of her older girls, even though only one of them is in school (an idea she got from Miranda). When I read her post, I had one of those lightning bolt moments Gretchen Rubin talks about. What a genius idea, and why had I not been doing such a thing all along? I was making a lunch for Aaron every morning anyway so it wouldn't be that difficult to just pack lunches for Maxwell and Bradley at the same time.

I started that very day, and I haven't looked back. It was one of those habits that fit our lifestyle and our schedule so perfectly that it took virtually no effort on my part to adopt.

And it has transformed my life.

I know, that sounds so dramatic, but I promise you I don't make such a statement lightly. Think about it. What is usually one of the worst times of the day? Lunchtime, right? (The only time of day that could possibly compete with it is the 4:30pm witching hour.) My kids tend to go a little psycho around 11:30am, which tends to make me go a little psycho. But by making the lunches in the morning, when things are relatively calm (and I'm just listening to my conference talk), I've eliminated the stress and craziness of that time of day entirely.

And if we ever decide to go to the park or a friend's house, I can just grab the lunches on our way out the door.

I'm telling you, transformative.

 
Learning to knit
Early last spring, a sweet older lady in our neighborhood taught me how to knit. It had been something I'd wanted to learn how to do for a long time. I started with a dish cloth (isn't that what you always start with?). Then I moved onto a pillow. And right now, I'm halfway through making a vest for Bradley (I'm using small needles, so it's taking me a long time.)

Everything about knitting is calming and relaxing to me (well, except for trying to decode the pattern, but luckily, my teacher hasn't abandoned me). I love the feeling of the soft yarn sliding through my fingers, the methodical click of the needles, and watching the finished product magically grow beneath my hands. It's the perfect thing to do while listening to an audiobook or watching a movie or just sitting tucked up on the couch watching the falling snow. I'm constantly planning out future projects, all while continuing to enjoy the project I'm currently working on.

Plus, learning to knit was one of my actual goals for 2015, and it felt so good to be able to check it off after wanting to learn for so long. I thought I would have to take a class or find some tutorials on the internet, but instead I formed a wonderful friendship with someone in our neighborhood, and that has had its own blessings.

Poetry Snack Time
When I first heard about "poetry tea time" on the Read-Aloud Revival, I decided to try it with my kids, just for fun. The idea is that you combine reading poetry with eating, and that just sounded like a winner combination to me. However, these types of things are often hard for me to stick with simply because, since it's not something we do every day, it can be tricky to know when to fit it in.

But again, as with everything I mentioned above, this tradition took hold with virtually no prodding from me. My kids immediately fell in love with it and look forward to it every time. Over the summer, we did it once a week. Now we do it about once a month (or every other week if we're lucky). I've tried not to force it into our schedule because it's meant to be fun, not essential.

We've tweaked a few things since we started, and I keep meaning to write a full post about it. Hopefully soon.

And that's it. I'd love to know what things YOU started doing in 2015 (big or small!) that changed your life for the better.

What I Would Do For Fun (if I Couldn't Read)

When Suzanne and I did our first Blab last week, we stumped ourselves with this question: "When you have time to yourself, what's your favorite thing to do (besides reading)?" We had the most difficult time thinking of anything that wasn't reading, and I eventually went with some incredibly lame answer along the lines of "sit in a quiet room by myself and think" (which isn't entirely inaccurate, but wow, could I sound any more boring?).

In the days since, this question has come back to me again and again, mostly because I keep thinking of other things I love to do besides reading and wondering why I couldn't think of them at the time. (I also think it's funny that one of the things I did think of is actually something I rarely (maybe never?) do by myself: go on a walk. It's not a bad idea; I'd probably enjoy a walk by myself; but the truth is, I almost always go with someone else because I like having someone to talk to.)

So what would I do if I had time to myself and couldn't read? Even though I thought of more things, they're all still pretty boring. Turns out, I'm just a boring person. (It also turns out that many of them are still reading related, even if I'm not sitting down with a physical book. Big surprise right there.)

1. Knit or crochet (while listening to an audiobook) - I learned how to knit earlier this year, and it has since become a favorite hobby. I'm currently making a vest for one of my boys (probably Bradley, but if it doesn't fit him, hopefully it will still fit someone!). The tactile feeling of the yarn and the rhythmic clicking of the needles make this a very relaxing, almost therapeutic, activity for me (and if I can listen to an audiobook at the same time, it's even better).
2. Wander around a bookstore - I can't believe I forgot this one! One of my very favorite things to do is go to a bookstore and write down all the new titles I want to go check out from the library. I love the smell of bookstores (different from a library because all the books are new), and I love being surrounded by shiny, gorgeous books. 
3. Work on blog posts - If I'm being honest, this is probably how I spend almost all of my available free time. I always have so many ideas bouncing around in my brain, and I love being able to get some of them written down (so that I can use that opened up brain space to think about more posts).
4. Clean - I'm not even kidding. I love cleaning my house if my kids are away and won't immediately undo my work (if they're home though, I basically feel the opposite because it seems so pointless). It's energizing to use my hands to bring order to a space. (Also, this is another great activity to do while listening to an audiobook.)
5. Fold laundry - see above
6. Take a nap - I've probably taken a nap a total of two times this year, but come January, our church schedule is switching back to 9:00am (we've been on the 1:00-4:00 schedule), so you can bet I'm soon going to be taking a nap every Sunday afternoon.
7. Reserve books at the library - one of my favorite nighttime activities is to go through book lists and blog posts and award lists and max out my library card with holds (and sometimes Mike's and Aaron's cards, too).
8. Go to the library - I often go there to write a blog post or just escape the kids for a half hour after Mike gets home.
9. Read blog posts, scroll through instagram, waste time on the computer or my phone - Sometimes this is exactly the kind of break I need because it is almost completely mindless (that's not exactly a compliment, but you know what I mean).
10. Write in my journal - this is part of my evening routine, which means that I always spend at least a few minutes writing at the end of the day. It feels so good to gather my thoughts and write.
11. Work on a bigger project - this might be organizing some part of the house or sewing or crafting (right now it happens to be addressing Christmas cards). I don't always have something going, but when I do, it's nice to make some progress on it.
12. Put together a puzzle - this happens more by accident than anything else. Usually my kids have out a puzzle, and I catch myself putting it together when I have a quiet minute.
13. Write letters or thank yous - I like writing to my brother who is currently serving a mission or my grandma or just jotting down a quick card of thanks to a friend or acquaintance.
14. Sit by myself in a quiet place and think - there it is. I wasn't lying when I said it before. I love being by myself and doing absolutely nothing.

When you have some time to yourself, what do YOU like to do (and you can't say reading!)?

Origami: The Hobby of a Six-Year-Old

It started innocently enough. At church, no less.

Aaron's teacher showed him how to fold a paper airplane. He came home and made fifty of them.

The paper airplanes gradually transformed. He started making so many different kinds of airplanes (I grew up under the false impression that a paper airplane was just a paper airplane--wrong!) that he ended up studying the effect of the dihedral angle of wings for his science fair project.

From there, he went to origami. One day, he came home from school with a book of very easy projects, and he made them all in an hour.

I have pushed a lot of things on my kids (reading, piano, chores...), but this is a hobby I've done almost nothing to encourage. (After he'd been doing it for months, I finally bought him a pack of real origami paper, and that's been about the extent of it.)

It has been so fun to watch him discover something he really loves and pursue it all on his own. When we go to the library, he parks himself in the crafts section and pores over instruction books before deciding what he wants to bring home.

At home, he uses the coffee table as a workspace and can be found there most afternoons after school (I think it is a great de-stresser for him.) One of the things I've loved about origami is that, for the most part, he can teach himself through books and videos. Occasionally, he will ask for clarification on a step, but most of the time, he figures it out all on his own.

Two of his favorite books (found by him, not by me) have been Make Your Own Art: Origami and Not-Quite-So-Easy Origami. They have taught him how to make (among other things) a crane, bird, pinwheel, and fortune teller. (The fortune teller especially has brought back a lot of childhood memories for me. It's been so entertaining to see the fortunes Aaron comes up with: "You will have 100 people in your family." "You will be an amazing Lego Builder." Or, my personal favorite, "You will read 2600 minutes in one day.")


Although, like I said, I haven't done anything to cultivate Aaron's hobby, I have used it to my advantage. If you have a boy with origami skills, you might as well use them, I say.

My dad's 60th birthday was earlier this month, and since that's a bigger birthday than, say, 59, I wanted to do something special. I thought it would be nice if my siblings and I wrote sixty things about him that we love, but then I decided to extend the invitation to extended family and friends. After a few days, we had a great little collection of notes.

Growing up, my dad always made banners for us when it was our birthdays, so I thought it would be fun to make him a banner out of the sixty notes. At first, I was just going to cut out sixty hearts and write the notes directly onto them. But then I thought, Why not make sixty origami hearts and tuck each note into the pocket at the back of it? Then it would be like opening a little letter each time.

Turns out, sixty is a lot more than I realized, but I had just the boy for the job. Up to that point, he'd never made a heart (I guess six-year-old boys think ninja stars are more exciting than hearts), but he quickly learned, and then he just pumped them out. I kind of expected him to get bored after fifteen of them, but he didn't. Then Max wanted to help, and even though his folds weren't as sharp or as accurate as Aaron's, he did a great job. Together, they cranked them out in no time with very little effort on my part (although I admit to making a few hearts myself, just for the fun of it).

Then I punched holes in the side and strung them together. I printed off all the messages from family and friends, cut them apart, and tucked them into the little pockets on the hearts. By the time I was done, the banner was quite long. We stuffed the whole thing into an oversized envelope and shipped it off to Colorado where my dad opened it on his birthday and then spent the rest of the day unfolding the little notes and reading them.

This has been such a great hobby for Aaron. It's relatively mess-free (although if you saw his room stuffed with airplanes, cranes, and ninja stars, I think you'd disagree), quiet, and creative. Aaron has always loved math, and I think origami is great introduction to geometry with all its angles and shapes. It has taught me that sometimes my kids don't need me to come up with activities or interests for them. Sometimes what they come up with on their own is just perfect.