5 Things That Happened Over the Weekend

1. The transmission went out on our van. Ugh.

2. Our dryer quit working.

3. Clark outgrew his cute dino sleeper. Without my permission.

4. Aaron made Mike four Father's Day cards.

5. We had to pull out the jackets again.

Summer Fun: Painting on Ice

On Monday, I wrote about my hopeful plans for the summer, which include doing at least one out-of-the-ordinary activity each week. It's time to start checking off items from my pinterest boards!

First up, painting on ice.
 

This is actually something I meant to write about last summer. It was quite the popular (and easy!) activity with my kids. It was inspired by this post on Learn Play Imagine, but we simplified it.

The boys were so excited when I asked them if they wanted to freeze some water for ice painting this summer. They hadn't forgotten how much fun we had with it last year.

Here's what you'll need:

• ice blocks 
• watercolors (nothing fancy--Crayola works great)
• paintbrush
• water (for rinsing out the brushes)

Give each child a block of ice and paintbrush, and let them go to town.

We've experimented with different sizes of ice blocks. Last summer, we were still renting and only had the small freezer above the fridge, so we froze water in cereal bowls or muffin tins. Now we have an upright freezer, so we had plenty of room to freeze water in three small mixing bowls. The boys seemed to like this size best because it gave them a bigger canvas for their masterpieces.

My boys all have different styles. Aaron likes to paint in big color blocks. Maxwell likes to do a mosaic of beautiful colors. And Bradley starts out with a similar mosaic that eventually all turns into the same shade of brown.

 

After awhile, the ice becomes much more melty, and the colors just slide off. The ice turns clear and transparent, which is beautiful in the summer sunshine.

 

It's at this point that my kids start playing with the ice. (This is a 2-in-1 activity. Score!) They hold it and see how fast it melts in their hands. They slide it around with their feet. And they throw it on the ground and watch it shatter into interesting pieces.

 

I love this activity because 1) it's easy to set up, 2) the mess stays outside, 3) it's cold, 4) it keeps my kids entertained for a long time, and 5) it's easy to clean up.

 A super hero cape is not required for this activity, but it will make you feel infinitely more awesome.

All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood by Jennifer Senior

You've probably heard about this book. (Or if not the book, then maybe this TED talk.) It seems like every mom I know is reading it right now. And I can see why: It takes the traditional parenting book and turns it on its head. If you're not a fan of reading about all the things you should be doing to raise healthy, resilient children but instead want to read about what your children are actually doing to your health and resiliency, then this is the book for you.

In the introduction, Jennifer Senior reiterates questions first asked by sociologist Alice Rossi 45 years ago: What is the effect of parenthood on adults? How does having children affect their mothers' and fathers' lives? It's an intriguing topic, especially considering the fact that if you ask adults which activities they most enjoy, childcare ranks very low on the list, but at the same time, they "view children as one of life's crowning achievements." Senior sets out to explore why this paradox could possibly be true. She looks at the effect children have on personal lives, careers, and marriages as well as how the various stages of childhood (from newborn through adolescence) influence day-to-day emotions and decisions.

This is exactly the kind of nonfiction I love, and Jennifer Senior's style is so readable and convincing. It is a perfect melding of research, anecdotes, and personal wit. As part of her research, she sat in on a lot of parenting classes and discussions, but then she also selected a few families to personally interview and get to know more intimately. Their stories are woven seamlessly in between the facts and the studies so that it all reads like one effortless narrative, all of which is punctuated with Senior's own experiences and humor and big vocabulary. Even though I didn't agree with all of her findings, it didn't matter because it was just such a pleasure to read

There was just something so incredibly validating about this book. There were times I just stopped and thought, Yes! No one has ever put my thoughts into words before, but there they are! For example, towards the end of the book, she talked about the fear and joy that simultaneously accompany parenthood. She quoted Brené Brown who called it "foreboding joy" and gave this example: "I'm looking at my children, and they're sleeping, and I'm right on the verge of bliss, and I picture something horrible happening." I didn't realize other parents dealt with this same type of irrational fear (mostly because Mike is almost always optimistic), but I know exactly what it feels like to have my joy tainted by worries, and there was something so comforting having those thoughts verbalized.

I could definitely relate to the chapters on autonomy and marriage and toddlerhood. That has been my life for the last six years. With Aaron going into first grade this year, I am also getting my first taste in "concerted cultivation." (In fact, a mere few hours before reading this chapter, Mike and I were having an argument over whether or not I should sign up Aaron for an art class this summer. Me: He loves to draw! Shouldn't we give him the opportunity to develop this talent and see if it's something he wants to invest some time in?  Mike: He's five years old. I never took an art class when I was a kid, and I loved to draw, too.) But then I got to the chapter on adolescence, and my heart was struck with panic. A few pages in, I actually had to shut the book and say to Mike, "What have we done? We didn't think this thing through! We have four children. Four boys. And they are going to turn into four teenagers." Seriously, that chapter was . . . terrifying. In all the other chapters, Jennifer Senior uses the real names (first and last) of all her interviewees. But on the chapter about adolescents, she switches to first-name pseudonyms because "there's too much potential harm and not much point in revealing their identities, or that of their parents." Yikes.

In each chapter, Senior talks a lot about the cultural shift that has happened to parent- and childhood over the centuries. She mentions the fact that children used to be valuable, an asset to the family's welfare. Now they are, in the words of sociologist Viviana Zelizer, "economically worthless but emotionally priceless." Equally fascinating to me is the shift in roles women have experienced in their families. Senior reported on it this way:

"It was a woman in Minnesota who clarified this shift for me. She pointed out that her mother called herself a housewife. She, on the other hand, called herself a stay-at-home mom. The change in nomenclature reflects the shift in cultural emphasis: the pressures on women have gone from from keeping an immaculate house to being an irreproachable mom. And the market today, still hoping to appeal to women's professional instincts, offers the same differentiation in baby products for mothers that it offered in cleaning products for housewives sixty years ago."

Looking at parenthood from an historical point of view really added some depth and breadth to the more recent studies and experiences.

Also, even though Senior herself admits at the end that the whole book had a biased edge to it, overall, I found her account to be very well-rounded. In fact, many times she mentioned a particular study to back up an idea only to then also point out its limitations.

I hinted that I didn't agree with everything in the book. Want to know one of those things? This paragraph about one of the moms she interviewed:

"Gayle's choice was to be a stay-at-home mother. When she made her decision, it made perfect emotional sense. 'I quit working because I couldn't stand being away from my children,' she says as her girls yo-yo in and out of the kitchen. 'To be away for an hour, to go to the bank, just hurt me.' She never once thought less of her friends who continued to work and found alternative child care arrangements. It  just wasn't something she could get motivated to do herself. 'And now I think, What kind of role model was I?' she asks. 'I have three girls and I quit my job? I went to college and grad school!' She shakes her head. 'If they'd been boys, maybe that wouldn't have bothered me so much.'"

I guess I hold motherhood on a higher pedestal because it made me sad to read this. I don't hold anything against the moms who want to work, but I hate the thought that the only way we can be good role models for our daughters is if we choose to have careers. I think there's so much daughters can learn from their mothers as mothers. If they choose to have another career, great. But let's not allow outside jobs to devalue motherhood.

There's so much more I want to write about this book, but I've already been trying to finish this review for two days, and if I don't wrap it up now, it might never happen. It's been on my brain that whole time (and then some). The irony of the whole situation was not lost on me as I tried to snatch fifteen minutes here and there to write another paragraph. In chapter 1 about autonomy, Senior tells about Jessie, a stay-at-home mom who has a photography side business. Jessie struggles with the predicament of trying to get her work done while her children constantly demand her attention. This afternoon, I told my mom (who's staying with us for a few days), "I just need one hour to finish this post." I shut myself into my room. It took me about ten minutes to pick up my train of thought and get back into the groove of writing, and all three times I attempted it, by the time the ten minutes were up, I had a screaming baby or a wailing toddler, and they were always problems that could only be fixed by me. Finally, tonight, I scored a blessed chunk of uninterrupted time, but this was the fourth attempt of the day. It was so incredibly frustrating (and it's not like this is even my job!).

At the end of the book, Senior talks about the difference between our experiencing and our remembering selves. Our experiencing selves are how we experience all of the moments that make up a day. My experiencing self was feeling frustration this afternoon. I just wanted to do one thing! One! And in spite of spending the time to get everyone settled before I started, I still couldn't get it done. This is the "no fun" part of parenting. But our remembering selves focus on the big picture, the way we feel when we look back on our experiences. And when I look back at this time of my life, I'm not going to remember this afternoon when I couldn't finish a book review (except, I might since I just spent all this time writing about it). No, instead I'm going to remember what it felt like to have my four boys so little and loving and needing me. And when I think about that, all I feel is joy.

A Plan For Summer

Aaron's last day of school was June 3rd. The days since then have been blissfully free and unscheduled. This morning, Aaron slept in until 8:30, which he has never done before. It was so unusual, I was afraid that maybe he was sick. But no, he was just enjoying the feeling of being lazy.

My goal for this summer is simply, Keep it simple. I think a new baby would force this goal on me whether I wanted it or not. It's impossible to keep a rigid schedule of activities when you have to follow the whims of a newborn. But we're all very happy with this arrangement. We take our time in the morning. We go on a walk if we feel like it. We stay outside in the evenings much later than we should.

This morning, I looked around the living room, and this is what I saw: Aaron was stretched out on one couch reading Dark Day in the Deep Sea. Bradley was sitting on another couch surrounded by a pile of books. Maxwell was sitting next to me in the recliner reading a story out of his reading book while I fed Clark. I thought to myself, This is what summer is supposed to be like.

However, I know I'm happiest with some structure, so I spent the last week thinking about how I could impose some organization on our summer while still maintaining our relaxed flexibility.

I thought of two ways:

First, Mike and I sat down with the boys and helped them set some summer goals. I'll share them with you in a few weeks after we've (hopefully) made some progress with them.

Second, I want to try one new thing each week with the boys. If your pinterest boards are like mine, they're overflowing with good intentions and hopeful ambitions. I want to actually try some of the ideas I pin. Luckily, I can be very flexible with this goal: I can do it anytime during the week; it can be a craft, a recipe, a game, a learning activity, or anything else that fits our needs; it will help us hold off summer boredom without making us feel burned out.

I have absolutely no schedule for what I want to do or when I want to do it, but I plan on sharing whatever we end up doing on Friday or Saturday of each week. I want to have a little accountability so I'll actually follow through, but I don't want to make this into a big, stressful project.

Because really, if we want to go outside and blow the fluff off dandelions, then that's exactly what we're going to do.

KidPages: Imogene's Antlers by David Small

Anytime I stumble across a wonderful picture book from my era that I never heard when I was a kid, a part of me weeps a little inside.

Such is the case with Imogene's Antlers. I read it to my kids and thought, Oh, how I would have loved this! It might have even ranked right up there with The Baby Blue Cat and the Whole Batch of Cookies and The Big Red Pajama Wagon (which, incidentally, was not from my generation but was much loved anyway). I guess I'll never know the legacy it might have left.

One Thursday morning, Imogene wakes up and finds a pair of antlers growing out of her head. It's fantastic and unbelievable but seems to be true. Right from the get-go, she finds antlers to be a difficult appendage to deal with; getting dressed has never been so difficult. Her mother is horrified . . . and immediately drops into a faint (an occurrence that soon becomes a pattern for the day). The antlers are unexplainable but also rather useful. In fact, by the end of the day, Imogene is rather fond of them. Sadly, the next morning the antlers have disappeared . . . but Imogene's adventures aren't over yet!

There are some picture books that are so fantastical, they just seem weird. There are others where the whole amazing story turns out, disappointingly, just to be a dream. This book is neither of those. It's more amusing and funny than disturbing. And by all accounts, it seems to be true (as true as fiction gets, that is). And I love that about it. For just a few minutes, we can suspend our disbelief without needing any explanations when it's all over. Imogene grew antlers. We don't know why, but she did. Isn't that crazy?

I love Imogene's attitude through the whole ordeal: the doctor is examining her, and she is happily licking a lollipop; the principal is glaring at her, and she is drinking a glass of milk; the maid is using the antlers as a drying rack, and she is reading a book. She just takes the whole day in stride, enjoying it and making the most of her circumstances.

The illustrations are wild and zany. David Small has illustrated some of our other favorites, including One Cool Friend and Elsie's Bird, but this is one of the few books where he wrote the text too. It's a shame he hasn't authored more of his own books because, really, he conveys exactly what he needs to in simple sentences without getting bogged down in a lot of unnecessary words. Plus, the text fits the illustrations brilliantly.

As a final parting word, can I also mention how much I love the name Imogene for a children's book? I don't think I'd ever use it for my own daughter, but for a girl with antlers growing out of her head? So much more fitting than the overused Chloes and Emilys.

Pausing Life for Seven Days

It's been one week since little Clark joined our family. I absolutely love the first week of a baby's life. We definitely have our share of sleepless nights, moody four-year-olds, roller coaster hormones, and breastfeeding issues. BUT STILL . . . with each of my children, it has been a cherished time. And with Clark, it has been no different. These minutes and hours are sacred and special to me.

Having four children (four! it's really true!) means that my time will soon be very divided. So I have used this week to get to know Clark. I have held him almost constantly . . . not because he needs it or demands it (although sometimes he does . . . ) but because I need it. I need to kiss his soft cheeks and breathe in his sweet baby smell. I need to stroke his silky hair and gaze into his perceptive eyes. I need to feel the gentle weight of his head on my arm and nestle him on my chest.

evidence of the dimple

Last night I had a sudden realization that with each child, the first week is probably getting more and more difficult for Mike while for me, because I am so adamant about lots of time with the baby, they've stayed relatively the same. The laundry piles up more quickly and the dishes multiply in seconds. There are more older siblings clamoring for attention and more toys to be constantly picking up.

When I mentioned this observation to him, he said, "No, not at all. It actually feels easier this time." That man is a saint. His mother taught him well, and I will always be grateful he knows how important this first week is for me.

I've tried really hard to share the baby with him. He likes little Clark, too.

Speaking of people who like little Clark, those three older brothers are pretty smitten with him. They are constantly squirting on the hand sanitizer or running to the sink to wash their hands so they can hold him again. When they've each had a turn, they're ready to begin the cycle again. Aaron will often hold him for thirty minutes at a time, especially if it's evening and I'm reading to him and Maxwell.

In the mornings, they love running into our room and getting their first look of the day at Clark. A couple days ago, Aaron said to me, "I had no idea our baby would be this cute." He's a little biased to be sure. They love his little yawns, his wrinkly forehead, his unwieldy arms that he whacks himself in the face with or pulls up into a Frankenstein-like pose. Just like me, they find rubbing his head to be extremely addictive. And they are all convinced that each one of them is Clark's favorite because "he was looking at me!"

Last night, I was reminiscing about the last week (can you reminisce if it's only been a week?) and telling Mike how sad I was that the first week was almost over. I told him it went by much too quickly, and he said, "What are you talking about? It feels like it's been much longer than a week! I feel like I haven't been to work in a month!"

If anything, it seems like our perceptions of time should be reversed. I spent the whole week prior living in the future: "In a week, I'll be holding a baby right now." "Next Sunday, I won't go to church because I'll be at home with a baby." "Next week, I'll also be up at 3am, but not because of pregnancy discomfort, but because I'll be feeding a baby." Now that the week is almost past, I'm starting to relive it: "A week ago, I was checking in at the hospital." "Now I was saying I couldn't handle any more contractions." "Now I was holding him for the first time."

But in between the future and the past, there was the present. Seven days. And they were glorious.

Raising Readers: Nonfiction Early Readers

Finding a variety of early readers that don't make you want to poke your eyes out can be challenging. But if you up the ante by adding the qualifier "nonfiction," your task may seem almost impossible.

First of all, at least in our library, nonfiction early readers are shelved with the children's nonfiction, not with the early readers. This means you can peruse by topic easily enough, but if you don't care about the subject per se (you'd just like to see your child reading about volcanoes or the American Revolution instead of Star Wars for a change), it can be beyond frustrating. Trust me, I know. I'm the mom who's wandering down the stacks, pulling hopeful books off the shelves and filling up the reshelving cart with cast-offs.

However, the benefits that come to the emerging reader from reading nonfiction are enormous.

• New vocabulary - nonfiction introduces hundreds of new words your child would never encounter in Green Eggs and Ham or Frog & Toad. Names, places, and scientific terms are all there in short, simple sentences.
• New ideas - not only is your child learning new words, but he is also learning about planets or reptiles or Babe Ruth. Now he not only can read the word "Saturn," but he can also tell you all about its rings and climate and moons. 
• New style - nonfiction is usually presented in a completely different way from fiction. Instead of dialogue and a climax, you have facts and definitions.

But just because nonfiction early readers are difficult to find doesn't mean they're not out there. Over the last year, we've stumbled across some really stellar ones. And the great news is that once you've found one, you can usually find dozens more in the same series. Just put them on hold, and you can just pick up a big stack of them and skip the aimless wandering entirely.

1. Record Breakers: The Biggest (and other Kingfisher Readers)
This one is fun because it doesn't focus on one subject specifically but, in a Guinness Book of World Records style, showcases the world record breakers in the biggest category: biggest insect, biggest building, etc. Here is a complete list of Kingfisher Readers. They come in a variety of levels, tackle a variety of topics, and feature great illustrations and photographs.

2. Eat My Dust! Henry Ford's First Race (and other biographies from Step Into Reading)
One day Aaron came home from school with a book called Abe Lincoln's Hat. It was all about the way President Lincoln used his hat to keep himself organized during his presidency. Aaron loved it, and I thought, There must be other biographies like this one. There are! Step Into Reading has a whole collection of early reader biographies. (I couldn't find a list of just the biographies, but here is a list of all their nonfiction early readers, which are all well worth checking out.) You know how much I love picture book biographies, and these ones are great whether you're reading them out loud or having your child read them to you. They all feature a unique story about the person being highlighted, rather than just a broad overview of his/her life.

3. The Dog That Dug for Dinosaurs (and other Ready-to-Read nonfiction)
Ready-to-Read also has a great line of nonfiction early readers. Unfortunately, I couldn't find a list grouping them together, but here is a link to all of the Ready-to-Read books, and it isn't too difficult to scroll through and pick out the nonfiction ones. The one I'm featuring here is about a dog named Tray and his owner named Mary Ann Anning. I like this one because it's a great introduction to archeology, as well as being about different kinds of dinosaurs.

4. Volcanoes! (and all the other National Geographic Leveled Readers)
I don't think I can express how much I love these leveled readers published by National Geographic. Aaron has explored a host of interests between these covers: volcanoes, sharks, planets, tornadoes, snakes, and more. And also, just as you would expect, the photography is spectacular, so they are a treat just to look through without even reading the text. One of Aaron's favorite components in these books are the jokes at the top of most pages. It's like a little reward for him after he's read the rest of the page. If you'd like to see all of the National Geographic titles in one place, visit this link.

5. Hark! A Shark! (and other Cat in the Hat Learning Library Books)
Out of all the books I've discussed today, these are definitely the most commercialized. But I can't deny that they present good information in a fun, engaging way. In fact, I have to say I'm pretty impressed with both the quality and quantity of facts that are all told through simple rhymes. New titles are being added all the time, but here is the most current list (I think). (Also, it's worth noting that these are different titles than the Cat in the Hat ones on the Step Into Reading list.)

With summer break already underway (Aaron's last day of kindergarten was today! Sob!), hopefully these lists will get you started on some fun and educational reading for those lazy afternoons. Use your library's hold system. I'm serious. You won't regret it.

(For more Raising Readers posts, click here.)