Today was Aaron's first day of kindergarten.
I've had a fair amount of worry over whether or not Aaron should begin school this year. Having just turned five less than a month ago, he is one of the youngest kids in his class. My indecision was compounded when I read Boys Adrift, and Dr. Sax gave compelling evidence for why many boys have greater academic success when they wait until age 6 to begin school.
I think a big part of my inner conflict was due to the fact that I respected, and even agreed with, Dr. Sax, and yet, it felt so right to let Aaron go to kindergarten. Really, in many ways I felt like I was creating my own struggle because I always felt the Spirit quietly whispering, This is right. This is right. This is right, but I still kept second guessing myself, Should I really send Aaron to kindergarten this year?
In the end, I felt confident trusting those spiritual promptings because I had done my part to study, research, observe, think about, discuss, and weigh all our options, and after all of that, it felt right to send him to school this year. I used my mind and my heart to make this decision, and because of that, I have felt a great amount of peace of mind.
And today, as Aaron counted down the minutes until it was time to leave and buckled his backpack and walked ahead of me down the sidewalk, there wasn't a smidgeon of anxiety. Only excitement and happiness. In fact, when my friend asked me how I was doing and I saw a volunteer handing out packs of tissues, I realized with a jolt that I wasn't crying. I had been so sure that I would be. In fact, I felt bad that I wasn't. It almost felt like I wanted him to leave me, which was far, far, far from the case.
This is maybe a more serious post than I was intending. It definitely didn't feel like a serious day. It felt fun and happy. But there were some serious days in the months leading up to it. I certainly don't think this is for sure the absolute, end-all, forever answer. It might be. But most likely, I will be considering these questions again and again as my children grow up.
But for now, we will soak up every precious minute of these glorious days of kindergarten.