How to Make a Wish, Part 3

When you hear the term "shopping spree," you're probably picturing someone in a store frantically pulling things off of shelves and piling them into the cart as quickly as possible. Pre-Covid, this was fairly close to the way Make-A-Wish did it (although, since there was a predetermined budget, the crazed greediness was probably minimized slightly). 

As Aaron prepared for his wish, one of the coordinators actually called and said that Make-A-Wish had just barely reinstated this original kind of shopping spree. It came with some perks (a ride to the store in a limo, lunch out on the town, etc.), but I knew Aaron would much prefer to do his shopping online where he would not be overwhelmed by all of the choices right in front of him and would have plenty of time to tweak his list.

At the beginning of August, he was given the go-ahead to start creating his list. They emailed all of the guidelines ahead of time (how much he could spend, the types of items that were not approved, etc.). Although he was allowed to shop at most stores, they requested that if it was available on Amazon that he select it from there since it was tax free for them. 

This was the fun part. Aaron already knew many of the things he wanted since he'd been thinking about them for months. The very first item that was added to the list was the Lego Millennium Falcon. 

To keep things organized, Mike made a spreadsheet, organized by category with a running total of the cost. The categories were Clothes, Computer/Printing, Fun, Gaming Center, Lego, and Snack Bar. Mike and Aaron stayed up late adding and subtracting things until they got it just right. I mostly stayed out of this process since my suggestions were not appealing to a 13-year-old boy. 

In addition to Aaron's money, each of the other boys were also given $50 to spend on an item of their choice. This was really fun and exciting for them and made them feel a part of the experience. Clark chose a Playmobil pony set while the others all went with Lego (big surprise). 

When Aaron was satisfied with his list, I forwarded it to coordinator at Make-A-Wish who purchased the items and had them shipped to the home of one of the wish granters. One of the problems with Amazon is that prices can fluctuate depending on the day, so Aaron had a few smaller items that were easy to add or remove depending on the final cost when everything was purchased.

Since our wish granter, Megan, wasn't the one to actually buy the items but would be receiving them, I emailed a copy of the spreadsheet to her so she would have a heads up of everything that was coming. She said it was the most organized, streamlined shopping spree she'd ever done.

Aaron's wish presentation was scheduled for the very last day of August so that there would be enough time for everything to arrive. It wasn't only Aaron who was excited. The other boys eagerly counted down the days, informing me every day, "It's only [17 . . .11 . . . 3] days until Aaron's wish!" 

The plan was to go to Scheels at 8:00am before the store opened. All of Aaron's items had been delivered ahead of time, and Scheels' employees had wrapped them up. (The thought of all of those Amazon packages being gift-wrapped in Scheel's amused me just a little.) Scheels is a large sporting goods and outdoor recreation store. With fun attractions like wildlife exhibits and a giant Ferris wheel in the middle of the store, it's an experience, not just a place.

We invited extended family members to come for the wish presentation, but because it was at a rather inconvenient time (8:00 on a Tuesday morning), only my parents, one of my brothers, Mike's mom, and one of Mike's sisters could come. It ended up being a small, intimate group, and I actually think it was perfect. As much fun as it would have been to have more people there, it definitely would have been chaotic and stressful. This felt like the focus was truly all on Aaron, and he loved every minute of it.

When we arrived at the store, a couple of employees came out to the parking lot to greet us. Megan and Maddie were also there, as well as another representative from Make-A-Wish. When our whole group was assembled, we entered the store with Aaron leading the way. 

Balloons lined the entryway, and Scheels' employees stood on the sides cheering for Aaron. This kind of attention is not his favorite, so he made his way through the people as quickly as possible to the pile of presents they had set up near the Ferris wheel and aquarium. (At one point, I assured the Scheels' coordinator that even though Aaron's reactions were subdued, it was not for lack of excitement or pleasure. Clark, on the other hand, was doing his best to make up for Aaron's reserve.)

They had Aaron open his presents first. Even though he already knew what they were, it was still thrilling to unwrap them and hold the tangible objects in his hands. Scheels had even thrown in a few surprises: a Jazz hat (which Aaron immediately traded out for the one he'd been wearing), a signed photo of Zach Wilson, and a Wilson BYU shirt. The other boys opened their gifts, too. With all of the items grouped together, it looked like quite the mountain of (super fun) stuff.

Then the Scheels' coordinator told Aaron, "For the next hour and fifteen minutes, the store is yours! You can ride the Ferris wheel, play the arcade games, or go to the shooting range and bowling alley. We have breakfast set up for you in the cafe whenever you're ready." They really gave him the VIP treatment.

We started with the Ferris wheel. It had been a very long time since we'd done anything like an amusement park ride. As we went around and around, we felt the magic of the moment. I told the boys, "I bet none of your friends are riding a Ferris wheel before school this morning!"

We split up after that--the boys trying out the various other activities while the adults stood around and chatted. We didn't rush; it felt like we had just the right amount of time to get our fill of everything before the store opened for the day. 

We ended with cinnamon rolls, key lime cookies, and juice in the cafe. Mike's sister and my brother carried out all of Aaron's presents and loaded them into her van while we finished doing things inside. Somehow we ended up agreeing to take all of the balloons home with us, which made for an exciting ride.

The boys had eagerly anticipated this event for months, and it actually lived up to the hype for them. They loved every part of it. I thought it might be a let down to drop them off at school on the way home, but they were still riding high from all of it and didn't seem to mind. 

Meanwhile, Aaron cracked into one of his Lego sets right away (but not the Millennium Falcon--he saved that one for last). Later that night, we ordered take-out, courtesy of Make-A-Wish, to wrap up a truly awesome day.

You might be wondering what a 13-year-old boy decides to get with a significant amount of money. Here's a complete list, for those who are curious: BYU t-shirt, Jazz t-shirt, Jazz socks, Jazz jersey, gaming computer (to use with virtual reality), computer monitor, 3-D printer, 3 rolls of 3-D printer material, hover kart (to use with a hoverboard he already owned), dart board, darts, sound system, two gaming chairs (which one of the Scheels' employees liked so much that she decided to purchase a couple of the same for her family), Nintendo gift cards to purchase games for the Switch, one pro-controller for the Switch, Lego Millennium Falcon, Lego Star Destroyer, Lego Bugatti, small buffet (to use as a snack bar), microwave, drink fridge, three candy dispensers, M&M's and nuts. 

It's difficult to describe what this experience meant to Aaron. On the surface, it looked like a a young teenager just getting to buy things he'd never have the chance to under normal circumstances. But it was actually so much more than that. It was the months of planning and decisions and anticipation that distracted him from his current reality, which often seemed hard and dismal. It was having something to look forward to--first, New Zealand and then, the shopping spree. It was having something to talk about that was not transfusions or transplants or blood counts. It was interacting with people who were kind and enthusiastic and wanted the best for Aaron. 

It was making a wish and having it come true.

How to Make a Wish, Part 2

At first, Aaron had very little interest in talking, or even thinking, about a different wish (I mean, can you blame him?). I talked to several people at Make-A-Wish to see if his wish could simply be put on hold. I told them Aaron was fine with waiting until it was safe to travel again. Although everyone was very sympathetic, they wouldn't (couldn't) compromise. 

For one thing, Make-A-Wish is a nonprofit organization. For tax reasons, they have to fulfill a certain number of wishes every month. They couldn't have a backlog of kids waiting for wishes. They had to keep the cycle going.

For another, they had a rule that a wish could not sit around waiting for more than a year after the process started. Although many wish kids have chronic conditions, others have illnesses that, although critical, can eventually be cured. Aaron fell into the second category. If too much time passes, then these kids have the potential of going back to their normal, healthy selves and no longer qualify for a wish. They said that Aaron was at risk of this happening if he waited too long to declare his wish. (As it turned out, Aaron was about to extend his time by needing a second transplant, but we didn't know that then. And it wouldn't have changed anything in terms of being able to keep his travel wish anyway.)

So Mike and I sat down with Aaron and brainstormed some new ideas. And we came up with three good ones:

• It is a well-known fact that Aaron loves Lego, so he thought it would be fun to turn the toy room into a Lego builder's paradise: large workspace, cool decorations, easy organization, lights, and, of course, more Lego. (Think LegoMasters, but on a smaller scale.)
• The family room was another area of the house he thought could use a revamp. He had the idea of creating the ultimate gaming room: video game console, sound system, new TV, entertainment center, comfortable seating. etc.
• His third idea was to turn the balcony into a fun hangout space. We basically hadn't touched it since we moved into our house. He thought it would be fun to add stairs so it would be accessible from the outside, add furniture and a snack bar, put up lighting, and hang a TV for outdoor movies. 

Megan and Maddie came over to our house to see all of the potential spaces and talk through various options. Each idea came with complications: there were things Make-A-Wish could do but other things they couldn't. For example, they weren't allowed to do any type of construction. They also would need a lot of guidance and vision to bring about any of the options, and making decisions is one thing Aaron does not like.

As we talked, the "magic" started to fade. Just like any organization, Make-A-Wish is governed by rules and protocols. So even though they want their wish kids to dream big, there is only so much they can do. 

When Aaron wished to go to New Zealand, the magic was there. They said "YES!" and took the entire planning process from there. It was out of our hands. They would work out tickets, accommodations, activities. All we had to do was show up.

I expected it to be the same with other types of wishes, and probably that is the case if you want to meet someone famous or there's a single large item you want (like a pop-up camper). But a room makeover requires a lot of logistics, and as we went through them, each idea was met with, "Well, we could do this part of it, but not that . . . " It felt like real life.

Before they left, the wish granters tentatively suggested that Aaron might want to wish for a shopping spree instead. Most of his ideas included a bunch of items: large desk or table for the Lego room, sound system for the game room, furniture for the balcony. Why not just get the things he wanted and create one of the rooms himself?

I was initially opposed to a shopping spree. It just seemed so materialistic: I wish for a bunch of money to go out and buy whatever I want. It didn't feel creative or special. It was just going to be a pile of stuff . . . Christmas on steroids.

But as we talked to Aaron about the various options, he came to the conclusion that this was, in fact, the best choice. The other wishes couldn't be completely fulfilled; a shopping spree could. Plus, as Aaron started talking about some of the things he had always wanted but would always be too expensive (the Lego Millennium Falcon came immediately to mind), I could see that the thought of getting to buy whatever he wanted actually was magical for a 13-year-old. As Mike was quick to point out, "As everyone knows, if a genie has to grant you a wish, you always wish for more wishes." That's essentially what the shopping spree felt like.

Aaron called Megan and told her he was officially changing his wish to a shopping spree. He was genuinely very happy about it.

It was around this same time that the sporting goods store, Scheels, first became involved. Many companies reach out to Make-A-Wish to sponsor a wish kid or host an event or participate in a wish in some way. When Scheels did that, Make-A-Wish paired Aaron with them.

At first, Scheels was going to throw the proclamation event for Aaron. This is where the wish kid finds out that his wish has been approved and is officially on the docket to be granted. These proclamation events are typically fun parties with lots of family and friends attending.

Aaron's proclamation party was scheduled for mid-November 2020. However, the date happened to fall right when the governor issued a stay-at-home order to try to curb the pandemic. All non-essential get-togethers, parties, and events had to be cancelled. So Aaron's proclamation party was postponed until further notice.

The holidays were fast approaching, which is, understandably, a very busy time of year for a big retailer like Scheels. So the event was put on hold until after the new year.

And you know what happened at the beginning of 2021:

Aaron's bone marrow crashed, he was back in the hospital on a regular basis, and he needed lots of transfusions. The wish was the furthest thing from our minds as we went back into full-on survival mode. (Interestingly, he relapsed during the very time period when we were originally supposed to be in New Zealand, leading me to think that maybe the cancelled wish was a tender mercy after all.)

Knowing that a party at Scheels was going to be impossible, Megan and Maddie took the proclamation into their own hands. One evening, they showed up in aprons and chef's hats with a huge pizza from The Pie and a smaller "pizza" made of money. This was accompanied by a note that said he would soon be receiving some "dough" for a shopping spree. They did such a good job of keeping the excitement alive, even as the months dragged on.

Because of Aaron's need for a second transplant, Aaron's wish got pushed back to May, then June, then July. Scheel's still wanted to be involved, but they switched to planning the wish presentation instead of the proclamation. We just had to make sure that Aaron was healthy and stable enough to be able to go.

I was so grateful that Scheel's was willing to wait for Aaron. I knew from the start that Scheel's would be a great pairing for Aaron, and I didn't want him to miss out on the opportunity. At the same time, we couldn't rush into it. Aaron's health had to come first. (Luckily, everyone at Make-A-Wish is very cognizant of the vulnerability of the kids they're dealing with, so they were very patient with the process, and fortunately for us, so was Scheel's.)

As I was in communication with Aaron's wish granters and other people at Make-A-Wish to pin down a date for the fulfillment of his wish, Megan realized that the month we were planning for (July) was the same month as Aaron's thirteenth birthday. It turned out that thirteen was a big deal because it would bump Aaron up into a higher bracket in terms of the shopping spree budget. If the wish was fulfilled in July, he would be in the lower bracket (his birthday was at the end of the month); if he waited until August, he would be in the higher bracket. We had no idea that there were different allotments depending on the age of the child. With just a few weeks separating one amount from the other, everyone at Make-A-Wish highly encouraged him to wait.

So it was set for August, and Aaron was eagerly anticipating it through the whole summer. 

But then, he was thrown one more curveball: Make-A-Wish called and offered him back his travel wish.

With Covid-19 somewhat more stable (at least at that time), they had opened up travel wishes within the United States. Aaron still couldn't go to New Zealand, but he could go anywhere in the US. 

Even though it wasn't his original wish, it was very tempting. He loves traveling and has missed it so much during these months being cooped up at home. Even with boundaries on where he could go, the possibilities still felt endless--Hawaii, Alaska, Florida, New York--and each place offered an array of attractions, depending on what he was in the mood for.

He agonized over this decision for several weeks. And when I say "agonized," I really do mean agonized. I couldn't even bring it up without him crying or shutting down. We made a list of pros and cons with both wishes, but neither produced a clear answer. He was sure that whichever wish he picked, he would regret not choosing the other one. The wish process had already been full of so many decisions, and as nice as it was to have this as an option again, I think it would have been better for Aaron if he hadn't known about it. 

In the end, it was time that made the decision for him. He had already been waiting nearly two years for his wish. The shopping spree wish was literally going to be fulfilled the very next month. The travel wish, on the other hand, wasn't going to happen until next spring or summer. Things have been so up and down in the world and Aaron's own health that we could see the wish being pushed back again or switched back to a shopping spree wish. I think he was just feeling a bit tired of plans changing on him, and I couldn't blame him. I texted Megan and told her he had decided to stick with his shopping spree wish.

As so often happens after a decision has been made, Aaron felt extreme relief and happiness just to be moving forward again. He was fully on board with and excited for the shopping spree. Contrary to what he was worried about, he actually didn't have wish remorse about letting go of the trip. 

He was ready to start making the ultimate, most epic shopping list of his life . . .

How to Make a Wish, Part 1

Shortly after Aaron was diagnosed with bone marrow failure in August 2019, his fifth grade teacher called me and asked if I'd be okay if she referred him to the Make-A-Wish program. She felt like dreaming, planning, and anticipating a wish could help Aaron cope with the long months of treatment and recovery.

So she filled out all of the necessary paperwork, and in October 2019, just a couple of weeks after Aaron was released from the hospital following his first transplant, he met his wish granters, Megan and Maddie, for the first time.

This was pre-Covid, so our family was able to go to the Make-a-Wish building to brainstorm ideas and get to know his wish granters. Aaron was severely immunocompromised at the time, so it was just our immediate family and the wish granters. The building was quiet and empty, and it felt really special.

Aaron had been thinking about his wish in the weeks leading up to this meeting, but the only thing he had settled on for sure was that he wanted a trip. His top choice was New Zealand, but I gently tried to discourage him from that since it was so far away and would require many hours of travel (and a lot of jet lag) that would take away from the actual fun of the trip.

Megan and Maddie asked Aaron a lot of questions about his interests, and we all had a chance to write down our own wishes for Aaron's future. When they asked for his top wish, he said the Caribbean. They wrote it down, put it in a little capsule, and then Aaron unlocked the door to the wishing room. The inside of the room felt magical, especially as Aaron placed his wish inside the chamber.

After that night, Aaron started doing a lot of research about the islands in the Caribbean. He checked out travel DVDs and books. He looked into going on a cruise versus spending the whole time on one island. 

And the more he researched, the less enthusiastic or excited he seemed to be. I realized it was because he didn't actually want to go to the Caribbean; he wanted to go to New Zealand. I sat down with him and said that this was his wish and that if that was New Zealand, then he shouldn't switch to something else. The travel and jet lag wouldn't matter. He would still get several days in a country on the other side of the world--a country that most people only ever dreamed of going to. It would be worth any hassle or discomfort it took to get there.

So he switched his wish to New Zealand. And the spark returned. Since we would be traveling outside of the country with seven people, Make-a-Wish asked Aaron to write a letter explaining why he wanted this trip. One part of his letter said, 

"Before I got sick, I was on the swim team. I would love to go snorkeling and see all of the marine life in New Zealand. My brothers and I love to play outside and go exploring, and I think that there would be a lot of cool hikes, beaches, forests, and caves in New Zealand." 

A couple of weeks later, we received the news that Aaron's wish had been approved by the board. They planned to host an official proclamation to tell Aaron his wish was being granted. The trip itself wouldn't be able to happen until January or February of 2021, but they wanted us to get passports for all of the family as soon as possible so that everything would be all set on our end. 

So on a Friday afternoon in February 2020, we all trooped over to the passport office for photos and applications. Mike was super prepared and had filled out everything ahead of time so we could streamline the process . . . but then they told us he'd used the wrong color of ink. It was getting close to the end of the day, so we scrambled to fill out all of the paperwork again. 

Then they told us that it was their policy not to take passport photos of children under five years old, and we'd have to go somewhere else for Ian's photo. We begged them to make an exception and then prayed that he'd hold still (he did). We left the office feeling immensely satisfied at having checked off one of the most essential things for international travel. 

We thought the hardest part was going to be waiting for the months to pass until Aaron was healthy enough to travel and it was his turn in the Make-a-Wish queue. But the very next month, the world came to a grinding halt with the fast spread of Covid-19. 

We assumed Aaron would still get to travel to New Zealand even though it might be delayed due to the virus. However, in July 2020, I received a call from the Make-a-Wish director: all wish travel was officially cancelled; Aaron would have to choose a different wish. 

(To be continued . . . )