Review x 2: It's All Too Much and Design Mom

I think my subconscious must be telling me that I need a more organized/less cluttered home because somehow I keep coming home from the library with books like these two.

It's All Too Much: An Easy Plan For Living a Richer Life With Less Stuff by Peter Walsh
I think I found this book after reading an article by Peter Walsh (somewhere, I can't remember where) and wanting to read more by him. Since I read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up earlier this year, I can't help but compare Marie Kondo's approach with Peter Walsh's. I found both books very helpful (and both inspired me to get rid of stuff), but where The Life-Changing Magic seemed a little unrealistic, Peter Walsh's approach seemed very methodical and practical (and yet, you don't see it taking the world by storm . . . )

He suggests going room-by-room after completing a general purge that clears away the surface clutter (this makes sense to me, but Marie Kondo insists that you should purge by category instead). He gives suggestions for how to make it happen in each space and encourages the whole family to communicate with each other and be involved in the process.

He has a very peppy, go-get-'em, motivational-speaker type voice, and it grated on me after awhile. I appreciated his enthusiasm for the tasks at hand, but it seemed like he was saying, "So let's get started!" every other page. I guess decluttering requires many starts since it's so easy to get derailed.

I remember in Marie Kondo's book, she mentioned again and again that tidying, if done right, need only be a one-time event (which happens over the course of several months, but which she defines as a one-time event just the same). This just didn't sound realistic to me. And so I felt justified when Peter Walsh said that the defending of your home against the threat of clutter is a daily battle.

Therefore, one of the most helpful parts of the book for me was the chapter about maintenance. He talks about the importance of continuing the cycle of one item in, one item out once you've achieved your ideal balance. I also loved the task list where he gave a different assignment for every month of the year, thereby spreading out the jobs of the home but making sure they all get attention. For example, February is "shred mania" month where you take care of all of the paper you've needed to hold onto over the past year. I love schedules and already have certain tasks delegated to specific months (for example, I always rotate our clothes on the first Saturdays in April and October), and so this was a really helpful schedule for me to see.

Between this book and Marie Kondo's book, I freed myself of three bags of clothes, one box of books, and a pickup truck load of random junk. Not a bad endorsement . . .

Design Mom: How to Live With Kids: A Room-By-Room Guide by Gabrielle Stanley Blair
I will tell you one thing from the start: Gabrielle Blair really delivered on the "how to live with kids" part of the book. Usually I feel like advice on this front is a little idealistic while being completely unrealistic so that I find myself thinking, Does this person even have kids?

But with Gabrielle Blair, I didn't doubt it for a minute (she does, in fact, have six children of her own). Just little passing references made me realize she knew exactly what she was talking about.

This book was a dream to read: Each chapter was divided into short sections with colored photographs on every page. It was like reading an adult picture book, and what could be better than that? The photos looked like they were taken in real family homes instead of designer models. They weren't all pristine and perfect (although I'm guessing even the ones displaying messes were somewhat staged,) and they showed a wide variety of solutions (but, I'm sorry, the one showing the overstuffed bookshelves almost gave me a panic attack--it didn't look like someone who loved books (which is what she claimed) but like someone who placed so little value on them they just stuffed them in any old corner).

As with most books like this, I had a hard time applying her advice to my particular situation. That's not a problem with the book; it's a problem with me. For example, I completely agreed with her about having a large workspace in the office available for every member of the family to use for art projects, homework, etc., but I couldn't figure out what that would look like in our home since, at the moment, we don't really have an office. Could we make one of the rooms into an office? Turn part of the family room into a workspace? Do we even need such a table? (Answer: yes.)

She's very good about insisting that you adapt and think creatively outside the box until you stumble upon the perfect solution for your family. While I appreciated her vote of confidence, my own creative skills are limited, and I really think I would do better if I just hired someone else's creativity.

However, one thing I did begin to do early on while reading this book was keep a running list for anytime some little burst of inspiration did strike. Most of these were small ideas, like, "get a couple of trays to cull items on top of the dryer." Some of them were direct applications of Blair's own suggestions, like, "get a plant for the bathroom" (we have the counter space, so why not?) while others were my own variation, like, "try putting all the spices in a basket so that it's easy to pull out of the cupboard."

This list is probably one of the most helpful things I came away with from this book because it's  something tangible I can refer to often, and it's very applicable because I'm the one who made it! We've already tackled some of the items on the list, which is pretty thrilling: we hung something on the wall of the entryway, and we organized the front hall closet.

The book is organized room-by-room, and Blair is pretty thorough (even making her way into the bathroom and laundry room), but there were two spaces that were unfortunately missed--the master bedroom and the yard (or garage or shed).

The first was intentional on Blair's part: she says right at the beginning of the book that children's possessions don't belong in the parents' bedroom, so you don't need her advice there. But I still would have loved her thoughts on how to make that space into a kid-free sanctuary because it's obvious I don't know how to do it.

And I'm not sure why she didn't tackle the outdoor space. We certainly have a big problem with corralling the bikes and helmets and chalk and bubbles and balls and tools at our house, and many of my friends do too. Maybe she left it out because it's not actually in the house, but it's certainly an extension of the house and one of the first things guests see when they arrive. That's really the only change (i.e., addition) I would make to the book.

I'm curious if you've read either of these two books and how you've applied their advice to your home. Please share!

How I Use Goodreads to Organize My Books

A few days ago, I was listening to the most recent episode of the Read-Aloud Revival. Sarah Mackenzie and Allison Burr were answering reader/listener questions, one of which was, "How do you organize your books?" I have to admit, I was stunned to find out that neither of them use Goodreads as a way to keep track of which books they've read, want to read, etc. It might sound silly, but for me, reading and using Goodreads go hand in hand.

I joined Goodreads in 2008, and during the last seven years, it has been an indispensable tool for organizing my books. I don't know what I'd do without it (I guess I wouldn't be reading as many books, that's what). I'm not going to claim that Goodreads is for everyone (obviously, Sarah and Allison have found some other ways that work for them), but if you are already using Goodreads or are thinking of trying it out, I thought I'd share a few of the ways I use it to help me keep track of everything I've read and want to read.

Use the to-read, currently-reading, and read shelves

When you join Goodreads, they give you three shelves: a "to-read" shelf for books you want to read, a "currently-reading" shelf for books you're in the middle of, and a "read" shelf for books you've finished. These shelves are exclusive, which means that a book can only be on one of them at any given time. I love watching my reading progression, so I use all three shelves pretty diligently, and most of the books I read do the full migration from "to-read" to "currently-reading" to "read." Unless you're up to my level of nerdiness, you might not feel it necessary to use the currently-reading shelf, but the other two are really wonderful tools.

I used to spend a lot of time wondering, "What should I read next?" and I often ended up with poorly written, disappointing books that I had haphazardly grabbed off the library shelf. I never could remember my friends' recommendations when it was time to choose a new book. But Goodreads has solved that problem. Now, as soon as I hear about a book that sounds like something I would like, I add it to my "to-read" list. 337 books later, the only problem I have now is deciding which of all those great choices to read next. And that is a problem. (I know some of you limit how long you let your to-read list get, but I can't seem to do that.)

I also keep my "read" shelf up-to-date with all the books I've finished. Have you ever had someone ask you if you've read any good books lately, and you know you have, but for the life of you, you can't think of a single one? My "read" shelf helps my faulty memory. Also, I get an inordinate amount of pleasure in transferring a book from "currently-reading" to "read." It feels like I've accomplished something.

Add more exclusive shelves

One of the best things I ever did was add more exclusive shelves to my bookshelves. For a long time, I couldn't figure out how to keep track of all the pictures books we were reading or wanting to read. I didn't want to put them on my "read" shelf because that skewed my book count, but I also didn't want to forget about them.

For awhile, I considered just creating a separate account (or making a Word document for those books), but that seemed like so much hassle. Plus, there were other books I didn't know how to shelve, like ones I'd left unfinished for one reason or another. Which shelf should I put those books on? Or should I just delete them from my account completely? If I couldn't use Goodreads for all my books, then why bother with it at all?

And then I realized I could add more exclusive shelves. In an instant, my life changed for the better. It's really easy. Here's how:

On the home page, click on My Books.

Then go over to the left-hand side where your bookshelves are listed and click on "edit."

Type in the name of your new shelf, and add it.



Find the new shelf and go over to the column labeled "exclusive." Make sure it is check-marked.

And that's it! Now that shelf will be listed with your other exclusive shelves. When you find a book you want to add, simply go over to the book icon under the picture of the cover, and a little drop down list will appear. Select your new shelf from the list!

Categorize books

Besides exclusive shelves, I also add a lot of other non-exclusive shelves that help me organize and label all the books I've saved. Since these shelves are not exclusive, you can have as many of them checked at a time as you want. So, for example, if I wanted to add Neighborhood Sharks, I would first put it on my exclusive "picture book read" shelf, and then I would also click a few of the other shelves I've already created, like "animals," "educational," and "nonfiction picture books," so that in a few months when I'm looking for some great nonfiction picture books that we've already read and loved, I can go right to that shelf and find all the books I've labeled like that with one click.

It's extremely easy to add more shelves. Sometimes when I'm adding a new book, I might think, I want to remember that this was a great book about the seasons. If I don't already have a seasons shelf, then I hover over the book icon under the cover image and go to the bottom of it where it says, "Add shelf."

I click on it and then type in a new label. Then I save it so I can use it both right then and in the future.

Keep track of the books I own and the books I want to buy

Two of my shelves that I really love are labeled, "current home library" and "future home library." If we read a particularly good picture book that I would love to own someday, then I check "future home library" when I'm categorizing it. It takes all of half a second, and it saves me so much time when Christmas and birthdays roll around. I don't have to wrack my brain trying to remember which picture books I want to purchase for our collection. I simply click on "future home library," and they're all right there. (I also love having it for those times when my mom says, "Is there a book your kids would like for Easter?" Why yes, take your pick.)

The current home library shelf helps me remember what we have so we don't end up with duplicate books. It's also a great shelf for seeing which books we liked so much we decided to give them a coveted spot in our home library. These are our favorite-favorite-favorite books.

Are you a Goodreads fan? If so, do you have any great tips or tricks for organizing your books? I'd love to hear about them!

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo

Chances are you've seen this book around. It seems like everyone is reading it. And everyone is raving about it.

Since my life feels like it's in an ever-fluctuating state of chaos, I didn't need all the glowing testimonials to be convinced I wanted to read it. I waited for months through the long library hold list until it was finally my turn.

It's a small and slim volume, which was a pleasant surprise since these types of books so often look like they belong in the textbook section.

But after reading the first chapter, the thing I found even more surprising than that was that this little book has such a wide following. I honestly can't believe it's on the international bestseller list--and not because it's a bad book.

But it is, for lack of a better word, trite. Several years ago, I read Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley (better known as FlyLady). I found her book extremely helpful and motivating, but although she certainly has a following of devoted fans, her book is just not bestseller material. It's quaint, it makes bold promises, it feels a little contrived.

Just like The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.

I felt like both were helpful books. I'm glad I've read both books. But I didn't see anything especially revolutionary about The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (unless naming a method after yourself makes something revolutionary and not egotistical). Nothing to warrant its place on everyone's to-read list. Nothing to garner the multitude of praises it's been getting. It's a book about de-cluttering and organizing your life. But suddenly that topic is one of profound interest to everyone. I'm just a little baffled is all.

But let me tell you about it. And then maybe you can tell me what I'm missing.

Marie Kondo is a personal organizer in Japan. Her method (coined the KonMari Method) is based on the idea that "tidying," when done correctly, is a one-time event. You begin by going through all your possessions (clothes, books, papers, komono (miscellany), and sentimental items (in that order)) and only keep the things that bring you joy. That is the key. You physically touch each item, and if it gives you a little thrill, you keep it; if it doesn't, then away to the Goodwill it goes.

Once you have reduced your possessions to only the things that bring you joy, then, and only then, you put them away in your house. You store things by category and make sure that every item has a place where it belongs.

And that's it! Your home will be peaceful, clean, and clutter-free for the rest of your life (because the KonMari method boasts no relapses). Now go fulfill your life's calling.

Okay, so I'm being a little sarcastic, and I apologize for that. I actually agreed with a lot about this book and am going to go through all my possessions while asking myself the simple, but profound, question, Does this bring me joy? My possessions should not be a burden, and I don't want to be a slave to things I don't really care about. Reading this book gave me the freedom to bid a fond farewell to those items I've held onto out of guilt.

But every review I've heard or read of this book has talked about the joy question (as well as how to fold clothes, which I'll get to in a minute), so I'm going to focus on some of the issues I had with this book in the hopes that some of you who loved it (I'm looking at you, Suzanne!) can tell me how to overcome these pitfalls.

First and foremost, I don't think Marie Kondo has children, nor does she spend much time living in her home. I'm not holding this against her, but there is a world of difference between being gone for most of the day and returning to a home exactly as you left it and being at home all day every day with four little boys. I get it that if I reduce our possessions, it will make it easier to keep things tidy, but it will still take a tremendous amount of effort.

Even if we get to the point where my boys get out a game and immediately pick it up after playing it (something we're still working on), there is still a hefty amount of living that goes on in our house. There are snacks and mealtimes (which total at least five a day), play time, accidents, crafts, cooking, running inside and outside, and a baby who lives to make a mess.

Oh, and the laundry! The laundry, people! It is the bane of my existence. I don't think Marie Kondo has any idea the amount of laundry that six people generate on a daily basis. She would be appalled. Even if all four of my kids only wore one outfit a day (a noteworthy event for sure), it would still be an incredible amount of laundry.

Which brings me to the KonMari art of folding clothes, which is this: fold each item into a neat little package that you arrange vertically in your drawer so that when you pull it open, you can see exactly which clothes it contains at a glance. This is an almost heavenly image to me, and, just like heaven, it feels about as attainable. For those of you who have implemented this strategy, I am so curious how you've done it. Do you fold the laundry by your dresser and put each item away as you fold it? Do you fold your kids' clothes in the same way? How do you keep them from rifling through their drawers (because even though they could see everything at once, I guarantee you my kids would still shuffle everything around)? How have you taught your kids to fold this way? Have you been able to sustain this type of folding for a long period of time? These are the pitfalls I see. I still want to try it, but I'm just afraid it won't last.

Now let me talk about the de-cluttering order. First come clothes. I can do that. Then books. I can do that (although Marie Kondo says, "Books are essentially paper--sheets of paper printed with letters and bound together. Their true purpose is to be read, to convey the information to their readers. It's the information they contain that has meaning. There is no meaning in their just being on your shelves." She obviously does not have a love affair with books, that's all I'm saying). Then papers. I can do that. And then komono.

Komono is this broad miscellaneous category that includes everything that isn't clothes, books, paper, or sentimental (which comes later). In my opinion, this is where most Americans will falter. Maybe the Japanese are more natural minimalists, and so the komono category isn't overly daunting. But I can see myself going through my clothes, books, and papers and then getting overwhelmed with how to tackle the illusive komono which will include everything from toys, kitchen gadgets, and craft supplies to DVDs, music, and sports equipment. Thankfully, within the komono section, she does break it down into smaller categories, but it still seemed overwhelmingly broad to me.

With all of the praises for this book, I've heard very little said about the fact that Marie Kondo addresses possessions as if they have souls. And that surprises me because those were the places where, in my mind, it went from being practical advice to bordering on the ridiculous. I am a firm believer in taking care of your possessions, but the idea that you shouldn't fold your socks a certain way or that you should empty your bag every day because those items worked hard for you with nary a word of criticism or complaint is just absurd. These were the parts of the book that I read aloud to Mike because they were almost comical to me, and these were the moments where I found it so hard to believe that this book is as popular as it is. Maybe I was reading too much into it. Maybe the translation from Japanese to English tampered with the original tone. Maybe she was trying to convey the importance of gratitude and respect in regard to our possessions, but it doesn't necessarily read that way.

Let me show you what I mean. Here's a brief excerpt:

"When we take our clothes in our hands and fold them neatly, we are, I believe, transmitting energy, which has a positive effect on our clothes. Folding properly pulls the cloth taut and erases wrinkles, and makes the material stronger and more vibrant. Clothes that have been neatly folded have a resilience and sheen that can be discerned immediately, clearly distinguishing them from those that have been haphazardly stuffed in a drawer. The act of folding is far more than making clothes compact for storage. It is an act of caring, an expression of love and appreciation for the way these clothes support your lifestyle. Therefore, when we fold, we should put our heart into it, thanking our clothes for protecting our bodies."

And finally, even if I loved everything about the book, I still don't think I could implement it entirely because I believe a home is meant to be lived in, and it should look like someone lives in it. I think things should be neat and tidy, but I'm going to keep my soap by the kitchen sink and my clean dishes in the drainer, and my rolling pin on the counter, and I'm going to be okay with it. I'm okay with people knowing that I cook and clean and eat in my kitchen. I'm referring specifically to her suggestion to keep your soap under the sink and your clean dishes drying on the veranda so that your counters can be completely free of clutter. But this seemed a bit extreme to me.

There were other things I didn't like (taking every photo out of the photo albums to determine if it brings you joy; not keeping a supply of any essential items) and other things I did like (remembering that storage should "reduce the effort needed to put things away, not the effort needed to get them out"; asking yourself, "Am I having trouble getting rid of this because of an attachment to the past or becuase of a fear for the future?"), but I've touched on my main impressions of the book.

I know all of this probably seems overly critical, but it's just that all the reviews I've read have been heavy on the praise and light on the problems, so I decided to do the reverse. I hope those of you who loved it will comment because I'll bet we actually agree on a lot of things. And I hope those of you who weren't as thrilled with it will also comment so I know I'm not alone (although maybe that's a false hope, and I really am alone--the one person in the entire world who didn't think The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up was all that life-changing.)