2018 Reading Goals: Final Report

I cut it close in 2018. Very, very close. I basically dedicated all of my reading time in December to finishing up books for my 2018 goals, and I literally finished the last one at 10:30 pm on New Year's Eve. It wasn't the most fun I've ever had checking off a goal, but I just can't pass up the feeling of finishing before a deadline.

Here's how it all went down.

1. Read the 2018 Newbery winner (complete)

I completed this goal in the spring (March 2018), soon after it was announced that Hello, Universe by Erin Entrada Kelly had won the Newbery Medal. I remember enjoying it at the time, but the truth is, I don't remember much about it ten months later, and I don't think I've recommended it to a single person.

2. Read A Rambler Steals Home and Zinnia and the Bees (complete)

This was one of the more specific goals on this list, but I am friends with both of the authors on social media, and so I was really interested in reading their middle grade novels (firsts for both of them). I liked A Rambler Steals Home (August 2018) quite a bit more than Zinnia and the Bees (March 2018), which is kind of funny because Rambler is about baseball and Zinnia is about knitting, so you would have thought it might have been reversed. At any rate, either of these books would make fun summer reads for kids.

3. Read something by Virginia Woolf (complete)
I read Virginia Woolf's To the Lighthouse (August 2018). It is one of those books that I'm glad I've read, but mostly just because it makes me feel more cultured. In reality, I enjoyed almost nothing about the storyline, the characters, or the reading experience. That said, I think if I'd had the opportunity to study it in a class or even write a paper about it, I would have liked it a lot more. But at this point, Virginia Woolf and I are not going to become fast friends.

4. Read three older (pre-1970) young adult novels (complete)
This might well have been my favorite goal on this list. Turns out all I needed to do to find young adult novels I liked was to go further back in time. I read And Both Were Young by Madeleine L'Engle (April 2018; published in 1949), Jean and Johnny by Beverly Cleary (July 2018; published in 1959), and Betsy Was a Junior by Maud Hart Lovelace (October 2018; published in 1947). They were not full of dramatic issues, immorality, or offensive language, but somehow I still managed  to glean important life lessons from each one (cue a little bit of sarcasm). Out of those three, the first two were new to me, and the third one was a reread. It was such a fun goal, and I'm excited to find some new old titles to love this year as well.

5. Read the three books I recommended for book club this year (complete)
The three books I recommended were The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin (June 2018), Dead Wake by Eric Larson (December 2018), and Walkable City by Jeff Speck (December 2018). I really enjoyed The Four Tendencies and probably think about it on an almost daily basis as I analyze myself and others. I ended up discussing it with not one, not two, but three different book clubs. I had Dead Wake checked out from the library multiple times and even started it back in September or October. I finally got back around to it in December but had to just restart the whole thing because my memory is that bad. It was a super interesting examination of the sinking of the Lusitania in 1915, and I highly recommend it. Walkable City was definitely a drag. I didn't love the author's writing style, and there were several times when I thought, I can't believe I am forcing myself to read a book about traffic patterns. That said, little random facts pop back up into my memory anytime I leave my house and am out and about: "That street is too wide to encourage walking. They would do well to lower the speed limit on this street. Free parking on Saturdays? Don't they know that the only thing that does is make people stay longer in one place and discourages quick turnover at businesses?" So maybe I'm still glad I read it?

6. Read a classic I own (complete)
I decided to read Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte (November 2018) because by the time I got around to this goal, it was autumn, and from what little I knew about Wuthering Heights, I was pretty sure it would be the perfect autumn book. And it was. Take this, for example: "On an afternoon in October or the beginning of November, a fresh watery afternoon when the turf and paths were rustling with moist, withered leaves and the cold, blue sky was half hidden by clouds--dark gray streamers rapidly mounting from the west and boding abundant rain, I requested my young lady to forego her ramble . . . " I mean, right? Perfect. It was also dark and moody and oh, so incredibly twisted in an intensely disturbing and passionate way. How about this, from Heathcliff: "Oh, you said you care nothing for my sufferings, and I pray one prayer. I repeat it till my tongue stiffens: Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living. You said I killed you. Haunt me then! The murdered do haunt their murderers. I believe, I know, that ghosts have wandered on earth. Be with me always. Take any form! Drive me mad! Only do not leave me in this abyss where I cannot find you!" That man could work himself up into a frenzy, I tell you what. It definitely was not my favorite read ever, but I liked it more than I thought I would.

7. Read three books from Honey for a Child's Heart (complete)
The point of this goal was to utilize one of the resources I own (in this case, Honey for a Child's Heart). I consulted the book lists and chose three books I wanted to read to my kids: Tom's Midnight Garden by Philippa Pearce (June 2018), The Door in the Wall by Marguerite de Angeli (December 2018), and The Bears on Hemlock Mountain by Alice Dalgliesh (December 2018). Out of those three, the only one I really liked was The Bears on Hemlock Mountain. In fact, I'm adding that one to my list of great first readalouds. It was very short, had lots of pictures, and had an engaging storyline--all necessary qualifications for a first read. (And as proof? Clark,age four, sat through the whole thing of his own free will, and that is the first time he has freely participated in any of our group readalouds.)

8. Read Simplicity Parenting or No-Drama Discipline (complete)
If I could go back in time to January of 2018, I wouldn't make this goal. It was not enjoyable to complete, and unlike some of the other goals above (#3, for example), I don't even feel any satisfaction now that it's over. I'll tell you why: I started out with Simplicity Parenting back in September and made it about fifty pages in before it had to go back to the library. Although the basic concept resonated with me, the writing did not engage me at all. When I finally got it back from the library, I couldn't remember a single thing from it and I had no desire to pick it back up. So I didn't. I gave myself a free pass and allowed myself to switch to any parenting book instead of the two I had selected at the beginning of the year. I went with Ignore It! by Catherine Pearlman (December 2018), a book that had been getting a ton of buzz on social media. And although it was much easier to read (I read the bulk of it in about three days), it made me into an anxious wreck of a parent. I began to question everything I said to my kids, and I was constantly afraid that I wasn't doing the methods quite right and consequently making the whole plan backfire in my face (something the author warns the reader of multiple times). I can see how this book could be valuable if you were trying to target one very specific behavior problem (a prolonged bedtime, for example), but for general disobedience, I wouldn't recommend it. But then again, I'm probably doing it wrong because there are about a million ways to do it the wrong way. (This also happens to be the book I finished at 10:30pm on New Year's Eve, so maybe that accounts for some of my bitterness.)

9. Read a book by Clara Parkes (complete)
This goal was just as fun as I hoped it would be. I read A Stash of One's Own (September 2018), which was a collection of essays about the many emotions connected with a knitter's stash of yarn. Some of the stories were serious and others were funny, but mostly I just felt validated in my obsession with all things yarn and knitting.

10. Read snippets from my favorite books on at least one Sunday each month (complete)
This was sometimes a fun goal. The problem was that I often left it until the end of the day on the last Sunday of the month, so it felt more like a chore than it was supposed to. I read:

• January: Notes From a Blue Bike by Tsh Oxenreider. 
• February: When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi and The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom. 
• March: Raising a Reader: A Mother's Tale of Desperation and Delight by Jennie Nash
• April: Little Men by Louisa May Alcott
• May: Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson
• June:I totally spaced it and didn't reread anything, but I read two books in February so that made up for my lapse.
•  July: Textbook Amy Krouse Rosenthal by Amy Krouse Rosenthal
• August: I have wracked my brain, and I can't remember what I read during this month. However, I'm almost certain I actually did read something and didn't just forget about it like I did in June. It's driving me a little crazy, actually. It may have been A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, but I can't be certain. 
• September: Crossing to Safety by Wallace Stegner 
• October: Heaven to Betsy by Lucy Maud Montgomery
• November: Glimpses into the Life and Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley by Virginia H. Pearce
• December: Being the Mom by Emily Watts

And that concludes 2018's edition of reading goals. This is the point in the post where I usually say, "Stay tuned for my reading goals for 2019," but I'm actually not planning on making reading goals this year. So instead, stay tuned for the post where I explain why. 

Reading Goals: The End

I usually try to get this post up during the last week of the year, but at that time, I was busy making a 2018 calendar, writing up some memories for my family's blog, and just generally having a fun, relaxing week. Oh, and also finishing up a book for one of my goals. As usual, I was cutting it close, but I made it. Take a look (titles are linked to full reviews):

1. Read two books about childbirth 
Ian was born in April, so I made sure to prioritize this goal early in the year. I read Baby Catcher by Peggy Vincent (January 2017) and The Gift of Giving Life (April 2017). Both were fantastic and skyrocketed to the top of my list of must-recommend childbirth books (what? you don't have such a list?). I loved the way they helped me prepare in different, but essential, ways.

2. Read three books with Maxwell and three books with Aaron
Bradley joined in with this goal, so it wasn't a strict three with Aaron and a strict three with Maxwell, but I thoroughly enjoyed reading some of the same books as my kids. Here's a list of what we read (these were not readalouds):

• The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart (Aaron) (March 2017)
• Cal and the Amazing Anti-Gravity Machine by Richard Hamilton (Bradley) (March 2017)
• "Who Could That Be at This Hour?" by Lemony Snicket (Aaron) (April 2017)
• Muggie Maggie by Beverly Cleary (Bradley) (June 2017)
• Zita the Spacegirl by Ben Hatke (Aaron, Maxwell, Bradley) (June 2017)
• Abel's Island by William Steig (Maxwell) (September 2017)
• Sisters by Raina Telgemeier (Aaron, Maxwell) (December 2017)

3. Read Rose in Bloom by Louisa May Alcott and The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery

I finally finished Rose in Bloom (October 2017) after listening to it for literally half of the year. There's no reason it should have taken me so many months (it's not a long book). I just couldn't get into it at all. The Blue Castle (September 2017) was the exact opposite. Sweet, funny, and entertaining, I enjoyed every page of it and would read it again in a heartbeat.

4. Read a book about slow, conscientious living
I read The Year of Living Danishly (November 2017). My feelings were very polarized with this one: the parts I liked, I really liked; and the parts I didn't like, I really didn't like. But ultimately, I would say reading it achieved my objective, which was to learn more about slow, conscientious living, but more importantly, find ways to personally put these things into practice. 

5. Start a new mystery series and read another mystery by Agatha Christie
My plan was to read both mysteries in October, but I ended up only reading one--The Murder of Roger Ackroyd (October 2017)--at that time. That left me scrambling for a mystery to read at the end of December. I finally settled on Death at Wentwater Court (December 2017), and it was surprisingly appropriate for the season (the murder allegedly happens on a frozen lake). I made this goal purely for fun, and that's exactly what it ended up being.

6. Read Home Comforts by Cheryl Mendelssohn throughout the year Read a book about cleaning
I began this goal with enthusiasm (and even wrote what I thought was going to be the first in a series of posts about it, but ended up being the only one). I became discouraged when, after reading for many pages and several hours, my only takeaway was that I needed to have a three-course dinner with real china and cloth napkins every night (totally not realistic for our family at this time). It was not an easy decision to give up on this goal (I hate admitting defeat), but I think it ended up being the right decision, especially since the book I replaced it with was How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind (November 2017), and it was a million times more applicable. (Although I will say that Home Comforts inspired one positive change, which was that we implemented a family Saturday cleaning schedule back in February, and it stuck for the entire year.)

7. Read a parenting book
A few years ago, I read Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax. I ended up loving it so much that I read it twice within the same year. Dr. Sax's candid look at the problems faced by today's boys made so much sense to me and gave me hope as I try to raise my own sons. (At the time, I only had three sons. Now, with five, it's even more relevant, so I need to reread it.) His latest book, The Collapse of Parenting, came out in 2015 and was immediately on my to-read list. But after a year went by and I hadn't yet read it, I knew I needed to make it a priority. I read it over the course of several months and found  the same blunt assessment I've come to expect from Dr. Sax with some really practical tools for how to combat some of our current problems. One of my big takeaways was that I need to have fun with my kids and enjoy spending time with them, and I'm really working to make that a big part of 2018.

8. Read two Young Adult novels
I tried, guys, I really did. I ended up reading six books that could be considered young adult (which I'm defining as 14+).

• The Distance Between Us by Kasie West (April 2017)
• Ten Miles Past Normal by Frances O'Roark Dowell (April 2017)
• Meet the Austins by Madeleine L'Engle (July 2017) (which was, honestly, probably a little young to be considered YA)
• The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery (September 2017) (which I read for another goal)
• Rose in Bloom by Louisa May Alcott (October 2017) (which I read for another goal)
• The Unlikely Romance of Kate Bjorkman (December 2017)

Out of all of those, the only one I'd actively recommend is The Blue Castle. They were all clean though (although I was a little nervous about The Unlikely Romance of Kate Bjorkman--there's a little bit of language in that one), and I was grateful for that. 

I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to approach this goal for 2018 because I'm still on the lookout for high quality, worthwhile, redeeming YA reads.

9. Read the 2017 Newbery winner

The 2017 winner was The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill. I listened to it in May and enjoyed every word of it.

10. Read Glimpses into the Life and Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley

I started this book in January and finished it in December, which was exactly how I wanted it to happen. I loved having Marjorie Pay Hinckley be my guide and mentor through all of 2017.

And that's a wrap on my 2017 reading goals. Stay tuned for my 2018 goals.

Eight Months Into 2017

Here we are at the end of August, eight months into the year with four months left to go. I've managed to not forget about the goals I made at the beginning of the year, which is a small victory in and of itself, and I have even made slow, incremental progress on each one.

Back in March, I talked about my overarching theme for the year (based on a quote by Marjorie Pay Hinckley), my five project goals, and my smaller weekly goals.

As a refresher, Sister Hinckley's quote can be summed up as follows: live simply and fully, always think of others, and don't be pretentious.

I still love that quote, and I'm still inspired by it, but here's the thing: I am not Marjorie Pay Hinckley. I wish I was, but I'm not. And perhaps, when she was thirty-two years old, she wasn't that person either. I have to hope that age and experience and perspective really are all they're cracked up to be.

This quote has been a good way for me to acknowledge some things about myself, such as: I will probably never be the house in the neighborhood that welcomes all children into my kitchen for a snack and a chat; I am uncomfortable talking to family and friends about hard things because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing; I have a hard time being flexible, which means I like giving service on a schedule rather than on a whim.

Marjorie Hinckley's words have made me take a good, hard look at myself and celebrate my strengths and accept my weaknesses. More than anything, this quote has made me try to become a better me rather than a different me. I have more to say on this, but it'll keep for another post. The short answer is I think about these words often, and I'm attempting to internalize them while still being true to myself.

It's easier to see progress with my project goals because they're much more physical and tangible. So far, I haven't completed any of them, but I've made headway on all of them. So that's a win, right?

Here they are again:

• Improve my photo editing skills by learning to use a new program. I purchased the class, "The Essential Guide to Lightroom" on Craftsy. Mike and I have been watching the lessons together. It's been fun. Have I edited a single photo yet? No, but it will come.
• Set up a filing system and file the last fifteen years of papers. I'm chipping away at this one. It's something I can easily work on for a half hour here and a half hour there. I've found some fun things (I forgot I wrote my own personal history for a college class!), and I'm also amazed at all the things I thought were worth saving (letters from "friends" I can't even remember). I probably still have at least fifteen hours' worth of work, but I'm just happy to have the end in sight.
• Submit an article to a magazine. I have three drafts sitting on my computer. It's just a short article for one of our church magazines. I should just submit it already, but I just don't feel happy with it yet. I'm trying to decide if I'm going to have Mike read it first or just send it in. I'm feeling a little bit like a closet writer (even though I'm telling all of you about it here).
• Complete my reading goals. I already did my mid-year report here. I'm feeling good about all of them except the housecleaning book. I've done the math, and it would take me 40+ hours to finish it, and honestly, I don't think it's worth my time. I'll skip around and read some of the relevant sections and call it good.
• Take a knitting class. I bought the "Modern Stranded Knitting" class on Craftsy. I'm about halfway through the cowl sampler, and it's been so much fun learning how to do two-color knitting. I was so scared to use my left hand, but it's been a piece of cake (I am left handed, so I guess it shouldn't be too surprising). I still would love to take a class at one of my local yarn stores, but this has been fun in the meantime, and it's so convenient. 

But I think my smaller weekly goals are probably my favorite thing I've implemented in 2017. Every Sunday evening, I write down a few goals (usually between five and ten) for the upcoming week. These goals seem to run the gamut--anything from character improvements to house projects to using my free time more productively.

One of my favorite goals has been to "memorize a hymn," so it gets added fairly regularly to my weekly lists. In some ways, it doesn't seem like it really belongs on a to-do list, but I'll tell you, it has done wonders to improve my mood, fill up my soul, and make me actually want to accomplish other things.

A sampling of some of my other recent goals:

• Be in bed by 10:30 one night
• Read two Mercy Watsons with Clark (I realized some of my favorite children's books were being woefully overlooked with my fourth child, plus sometimes it's really liberating for me to have to sit down and do something with him because I let other things take precedence otherwise.)
• Exercise one day (it's rather pitiful that I was exercising so infrequently that one day was actually an accomplishment) 
• Do thirty minutes of filing
• Have a heart-to-heart with Aaron, Max, and Bradley
• Buy new flour/sugar containers
• Reply to all blog comments (have you noticed I'm often very tardy in my replies?!)
• Decide on a theme for the 2017-2018 school year

I've always been a checklist type of gal, but for my current stage of life, a weekly, rather than a daily, checklist seems to be much more effective. These lists have helped me tackle some things I've been avoiding for a long time, but they've also given me permission to do the things that really bring me joy. And they've helped me make more meaningful connections with the people I love. They're effective because I keep the list short enough to be manageable, and it's always a good mix of fun and work.

So that's where I'm at right now. I still have a long way to go, but it feels good to look back and realize I'm moving in a general forward direction.

In Progress: Home Comforts, Part 1 (Why am I Reading This Book?!)

One of my reading goals this year is to read Cheryl Mendelson's 900-page tome on housekeeping. It's long. It's intense. It's not for the faint of heart (which may or may not describe me--I haven't decided yet).

Rather than give one over-arching review of it at the end of the year (because I fully anticipate it taking me the entire year to finish), I thought I'd do little monthly reports--mini-reviews, if you will. I'll share the tidbits I've found helpful (or not helpful, as the case might be) and how I'm applying what I'm learning. Hopefully, this will keep me accountable as well so that I actually chip away at it every month rather than saving it all for the end of the year (which would surely be akin to torture).

I think the first real emotion I felt soon after starting this book was depression. Not exactly the emotion I was hoping for, but there it was. The second chapter was about establishing a routine, which I'm definitely in favor of, but as I looked at her daily, weekly, monthly, and annual cleaning lists, I felt like a miserable failure.

To clarify the daily routine, Cheryl Mendelson said, "A daily routine restores the household to a level of basic order twice each day: once before work or after breakfast, and once before bed."

It was at that point that I wanted to raise my hand and ask, "And, um, what about the ten hours in between? How do you suggest I deal with the spilled milk and the crumbs from fifty snacks and the dirt and/or snow tracked in and the 500-pieces from two mixed-up puzzles and the paper scraps from an over-zealous, scissor-wielding two-year-old and the jam painted on the window and the large couch cushion and blanket fort and the four abandoned board games and the piles of books and the flooded bathroom because the (same) two-year-old decided to get himself a drink of water and the three discarded outfits and . . . and . . .????? What if by the time bedtime rolls around, I've already cleaned up so many interim messes that I'm too tired to "restore order" for supposedly only the "second" time?"

Honestly, at this point in my life, it sounds rather heavenly to straighten up in the morning, close the front door, and return in the evening with the house looking exactly the same. But as it is, if my house looks even close to the same at 5:00pm as it did at 8:00am, it's because I've done nothing but clean all day.

But it wasn't just the daily routine that depressed me. It was learning about all of the things I should be doing every week in order to establish the bare minimum of "health, safety, and comfort" for my family and realizing that I fall far, far short.

(Quick poll: How often do you wash your family's sheets? I'm genuinely curious because apparently, we aren't washing ours frequently enough.)

And thus it was that not even two chapters into the book, Mike forbade me from reading any more of it: "This is not helpful. Why are you even reading it?"

So I had a little heart-to-heart with myself and asked that very question: "Why am I reading this book?"

And it turns out, it wasn't for the routines or lists or to achieve the perpetually clean house. It was more narrow, more focused, than that. I wanted a simple how-to on all the little tasks that go into keeping a clean house: scouring a sink or doing laundry or cleaning a toilet. I do all of those things, of course, but was I doing them the "right" way . . . or was there even a right way? Those were the answers I was looking for, and they're coming, but the book had to begin with the over-arching objective before breaking it down into its smaller components.

So I didn't listen to Mike. Instead, I took a deep breath, relaxed, and realized a house with four young kids in it looks markedly different from a home with two working adults. I'm not trying to make excuses for myself (well, maybe a little . . . ), but standards are different. They have to be, unless 1) cleaning is your passion/hobby so you don't mind doing the same work a dozen times over in one day (I know people who fall into that category) or 2) cleaning is not your passion, but you're okay with feeling perpetual despair and frenzied anxiety all the time because your house is never as clean as you want it to be (there are days when I definitely feel like this). Personally, I'm not okay with either of those options.

Don't get me wrong, I am infinitely happier in a clean, uncluttered home, but I also have other interests and responsibilities outside of cleaning, so I have to find a balance that works for me, my kids, and Mike. And I think that balance is different from Cheryl Mendelson's.

But I decided to continue with the book because, while the big picture looks overwhelming and daunting, focusing on one thing at a time doesn't sound too bad. If she expounds on the fine art of cleaning a toilet, for example, I can read and learn and maybe tweak and hone my own toilet-brushing skills, and that sounds totally doable.

And no matter how Mike feels about the book, we're already seeing some positive changes from it. I decided we really should be more organized about our Saturday cleaning. Usually it's something that gets dragged out over the course of the whole day with us handing out jobs to our kids and listening to them whine and complain for hours and hours. I knew that if we all focused on the task at hand and split up the load, we could be done in a couple of hours and be left with a clean house (for at least five minutes). We actually did use Cheryl Mendelson's weekly cleaning checklist to give some structure, and we've been altering it as needed. It feels so good to work together as a family in such a concentrated way, and I'm glad my kids are learning the joy and satisfaction that comes from hard work.

The next chapter in the book focuses on food (as in menu planning, grocery shopping, meal preparation, etc.), which honestly doesn't interest me that much, so we'll see if I have much to talk about next month.

Have any of you read this book? If so, what were the most helpful bits you gleaned from it? And whether you've read it or not, how do you maintain your sanity and a clean house at the same time? (And don't forget the clean sheets question!)